You Might be an Engineer if . . . . .


  --Your line to a prospective date is "Hi, what's your URL?"
  --You teach your kid to count in binary
  --You stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
  --You know anything at all about any of the various incarnations of Star
Trek
  --The only jokes you receive are through e-mail
  --You think it's more fun to take apart a video game than play it
  --You would sooner watch Mr. Wizard than Baywatch
  --Your wrist watch has more computing power than a Macintosh 9500-180
  --Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
high-tech movie looking for technical inaccuracies
  --You drive a Gremlin with a "Beam Me Up, Scotty" bumper sticker
  --You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
  --You didn't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
  --You spend more time on the COMDEX floor than in the hospitality suites
  --Last Xmas, you got RAM in your stocking
  --You are planning an ongoing interactive game over the Internet with
someone in Guam
  --You thought the contraption ET used to phone home was stupid
  --You own one or more white, short-sleeve dress shirts
  --The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
  --You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one
device on your body beep or buzz
  --You have disdain for people who use low baud rates
  --You rotate screen savers more often than your tires
  --You canot spel
  --If your are the balcony of the 24th floor of the Hawaiian Hilton
during a beautiful sunset and all you can think of is the fact that the
balcony was built by a guy with a big beer belly and only a high school
education
  --You go to the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to
see how they do the special effects
  --You are at an airshow and know how fast the skydivers are falling
  --Your favorite place in San Francisco is the Exploratorium
  --People groan at parties when you pick out the music
  --You can't remember where you parked your car for the third time this
week
  --You root for HAL in "2001"
  --You are afraid to go to the bathroom at work in case you might miss
the next two generations of computer technology
  --You know what http:// stands for
  --You cannot write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical
lines
  --Your favorite part of the 6:00 news is comparing the latest satellite
picture with yours
  --Your 3-year-old asks why the sky is blue and you actually try to
explain
  --You remember a dozen passwords and your ten-digit CompuServe address
but you have to call your niece kiddo.
  --You do Darth Vader or Battlestar Gallactica impersonations by talking
into a spinning fan
  --Your family pet's name is "Laptop"
  --All your sentences begin with "What if..."
  --You control a locomotive
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