Smart Quotes

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands
of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury
duty.

I don't buy temporary insanity as they murder defense. Because
people kill people.  That's and animal instinct. I think breaking
into someone's home and ironing all their clothes is temporary
insanity.

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

I have a great dog.  She's half Lab, half pit bull. The good
combination.  Sure, she might fight off my leg. But she'll bring
it back to me.

A cowboy was walking down the street with his new pet dachshund.
The passer by asked him why he bought that kind of dog.  The
cowboy answer, "somebody told me to get along little doggie."

I have a rottweiler so mean, he ate the neighbor's weenie dog.
Now he's a bratweiler.

Never tell your computer that you're in a hurry.

"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one
can be designated driver." - Jay Leno

We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us.

There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.

Never get into an argument with the schizophrenic person and say,
"Who do you think you are?"

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