Actual Fast Food Job Application [ You bought your dad a tie last Father's day. The year before you bought him a shirt. What are you going to get him this year? Find the perfect Father's Day gift at www.mySimon.com mySimon shops thousands of online stores so you can compare products for the best price in one location. After all, there's nothing wrong buying something nice for dad and having a little extra for yourself. http://pbbt.com/go/mysimon ] This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment........ NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise. SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising. ========== Get this joke on the web @ http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/today.shtml This joke was brought to you by the Funnystuff Mailing List at http://www.pbbt.com/ If you would like to subscribe send a message to mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] (to unsubscribe, email mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ) or visit us on the web at http://www.pbbt.com/mail/
