[Funnystuff] Cards You Will Never See At Hallmark

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Cards You Will Never See At Hallmark

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"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in 
Hell until I met you."

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help 
but wonder: What was I thinking?"

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to 
ruin it for me."

"As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me. 
Like the need for therapy"

"Thanks for being a part of my life! I never knew what evil was before this!"

"Congratulations on your promotion.  Before you go, would you like to 
take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened, especially 
since you survived."

"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age ... almost lifelike!"

"I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected. While I'm
dreaming, I wish you weren't so ugly."

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that 
we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."

"If you ever need a friend, buy a dog."

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and 
there was only one life jacket I'd miss you a lot and think of you 
often."

"If you didn't have any money, I'd still love you. And miss you very much."

"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday 
so we're having you put to sleep."

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