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A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the
trip to the barber, who responded, "Why would anyone want to go there.
It's crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome.

So, how are you getting there?"
  "We're taking TWA," was the reply.  "We got a great rate!"
"TWA!" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're
always late.

So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."
"That dump!  That's the worst hotel in Rome, the rooms are small, the
service is surly and they're overpriced.

So, whatcha doing when you get there?"
  "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the barber.  "You and a million other people
trying to see him.  He'll look the size of an  ant. Boy, good luck on
this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it!"

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut.
The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

  "It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on  time in
one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us
up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a
beautiful 28-year-old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel!  Well, it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million
remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city.  They, too,
were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite
at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to
meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to > step into his
private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me.  Sure enough,
five minutes later, the pope walked in. As I knelt down he spoke a few
words to me."

"What'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get the shitty haircut ?"

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