[Funnystuff] Visit to Texas and... Golf

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[ Okay everyone. The paperwork is taking longer than expected, so 
I'll send the joke from here until it all goes through -- Owen :-) ]

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas...

When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these
seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in
Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving
in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He
exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is
big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the
bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right."
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and
skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to
the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the
blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

--- BONUS JOKE: (for monday) ---

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to
spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he
could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.

Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and
asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.

Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball
far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with
a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball,
directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally
said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that
tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the
ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on
the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that
pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

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