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The Funnystuff Mailing List -- http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/today.shtml

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Quote of the Day:

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started
walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97
today and we don't know where  the hell she is. 
     --Ellen DeGeneres

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New English [classic]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the EU
rather than German which was the other possibility. As
part  of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that  English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted  a 5 year phase-in plan
that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with
joy. The hard "c"  will be dropped in favour of the"k".
This should klear up  konfusion and keyboards kan have
1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with
"f". This  will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes  are possible. Governments will
enkorage the removal of double  letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in  the
language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze
fifz year,  ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and  similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of  leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
vil find it ezi  to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil
finali kum tru! And zen world!


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Murphy's Law of the Day:

Index of Development
The degree of a country's development is measured by the ratio of the price of an 
automobile to the cost of a haircut. The lower the ratio, the higher the degree of 
development.

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Bonus Murphy's Law of the Day!

Teslacle's Deviant to Fudd's Law
It goes in -- it must come out.

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