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The Funnystuff Mailing List -- http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/today.shtml

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PBBT.COM Postcards
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Quote of the Day:

"If you look like your passport photo, you're too sick to travel." 
     -- Will Kommen 

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Epitaphs

Actual epitaphs from real tombstones:

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

Anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.

In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"

Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

And, Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas:
Office upstairs


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Murphy's Law of the Day:

Johnson's Laws

 - When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient time.
 - If, in the course of several months, only three worthwhile social events take 
place, they will all fall on the same evening.
 - If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue containing the article, 
story, or installment you were most anxious to read. 
 Corollary - All of your friends either missed it, lost it, or threw it out.


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Bonus Murphy's Law of the Day!

Doc's Laws of Automotive Repair

 - If you can reach the faulty part, you don't have the tool to get it off.
 - Quality is inversely proportional to the time left to complete the job.
 - If it jams-force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyhow.


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