============================================================ Explore the jungle in your backyard -- FREE! eNature has bird sounds, Animal Finder, Field Guides, experts, activities and more for a suburban safari you�ll never forget. http://click.topica.com/caaacsAb1dhsSb1uOHTa/eNature ============================================================ The Funnystuff Mailing List -- http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/today.shtml =======================--------- School may be out but having friends is still in, so find them at Classmates.com Today! http://pbbt.com/jump/0712/nifty <a href="http://pbbt.com/jump/0712/nifty";> AOL users click here </a> =======================--------- Quote of the Day: "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." � Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000 - George W. Bush =======================--------- Ken Swarmer: Neighbors There isn�t anything more satisfying than joining alliances with a neighbor over a project like building a fence. It�s fun working side by side, digging the fence posts, pounding in the nails, sharing a break over water and some ibuprofen. People say they no longer know their neighbors. That as a culture we are shut inside watching bad TV and eating delivery pizza. That we no longer borrow a cup of sugar when we need it, or collar each other�s kids when they ring and run the elderly couple down the street. This isn�t true with my neighbor Mike. If I need to borrow a screwdriver or ten gallons of gas, he�s there for me. That�s why our recent fence project went so well - we are tight friends. I have to admit that the fence project was Mike�s idea in the first place. One day as we were talking by the mailboxes and Mike said it was time to put a fence between our yards. He hinted that I was probably tired of looking at his compost pile tucked discreetly in the corner of his yard. "If that were true, Mike," I argued, "you would have said something by now about my rusted barbecue and 10-foot thistles." He said I must also be exasperated with his cat wandering all over the neighborhood, but I reminded him that our sheep dog does a fine job chasing Bootsie back into his yard, so why worry. Still, Mike wanted the fence, and so of course I wanted to do the neighborly thing and help build it. After all, what are neighbors for? We broke ground three weeks ago. Of course, we�d probably be done by now, but I accidentally punched the power hole digger into Mike�s sprinkler system. Mike is an expert craftsman and is eager to teach: "You�re drilling sideways, dummy," he told me. It�s great when a neighbor can insult the other and both know he�s just kidding. Once we had the fence posts in place, and while the swelling was going down in Mike�s foot (the cement bag I was carrying got heavy), I volunteered to do the precise measuring and framing. No more than 30 minutes passed when Mike hobbled off his lawn chair and pushed me aside. Lying on the ground, tears came rushing to my eyes when I realized the heroic actions of this neighbor I call Mike. A dangerous penny nail protruding from one of the fence posts was mearly inches away from the exposed skin on my arm. I could have got tetanus. Of course, Mike downplayed the whole incident as if my safety had nothing to do with his actions. And, because of his quiet, sensitive nature, I said nothing when he CLAIMED my fence would have dipped at a 30-degree angle if he hadn�t intervened. What a creative excuse to hide his soft underbelly. "Sure, Mike," I winked. "Sure." But that�s Mike for you. Always putting others before his own needs � never taking the credit. I suppose that is why he finished the fence the other night all by himself. Despite 30 mph winds and severe tendentious, before dawn he framed and nailed every board that now divides our yards. And not once did he complain or wake me up to help. When I was at his house yesterday borrowing his lawnmower, I told him he did too much - that I was more than happy to do my fair share. But, being the great neighbor that he is, Mike just squeezed his eyes tightly together and nodded slowly. Who needs TV and pizza when you have a great neighbor like Mike? Ken Swarner lives in the PNW with his wife and two children. He can be seen at www.kenswarner.bigstep.com. He can be emailed at [EMAIL PROTECTED] =======================--------- Your nightlife just got better. Now no monthly fee when you spend $30+ on Sprint Long Distance and always 5�/min nighttime state-to-state calling. Click to learn more! http://pbbt.com/jump/0712/super <a href="http://pbbt.com/jump/0712/super";> AOL users click here </a> =======================--------- Murphy's Law of the Day: Gray's Law of Bilateral Asymmetry in Networks Information flows efficiently through organizations, except that bad news encounters high impedance in flowing upward. =======================--------- Bonus Murphy's Law of the Day! Cohen's Laws of Politics Law of Wealth Victory goes to the candidate with the most accumulated or contributed wealth who has the financial resources to convince the middle class and poor that he will be on their side. =======================--------- 12 CDs for FREE (plus s&h)! What are you waiting for? This great deal alone should be music to your ears. With so many titles to choose from, you�re bound to find some essential titles you just can't live without! Click for more details. http://pbbt.com/jump/0712/whoopie <a href="http://pbbt.com/jump/0712/whoopie";> AOL users click here </a> =======================--------- This mailing is NEVER sent without your express permission. Please feel free to forward this email on in it's entirety. To subscribe: http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/ mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe: Click the link at the bottom of this message, or mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] To send feedback: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Advertising: We are always looking for quality advertisers for the pbbt.com website and this mailing list. Please email mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] for rates and sales information. 25% discount* if you mention funnystuff. This joke was brought to you by the funnystuff mailing list. Get today's joke on the web @ http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/today.shtml ============================================================ Crazy for bargains? Go nuts with TopOffers where total bargain madness is normal! http://click.topica.com/caaacgEb1dhsSb1uOHTf/TopOffers ============================================================ ==^================================================================ EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?b1dhsS.b1uOHT Or send an email To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] This email was sent to: [email protected] T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^================================================================
[Funnystuff] Ken Swarmer: Neighbors
PBBT.COM Funnystuff Mailing List Thu, 12 Jul 2001 08:12:24 -0700
