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The Funnystuff Mailing List -- http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/today.shtml =======================--------- Dialfreecalls.com is the only site that pays you to talk. You get 2 � hours of long distance FREE every month just for signing up with absolutely NO fees. All calls are carried by MCI/WORLDCOM and not over the Internet so they�re crystal clear. Credit cards are NOT required. Sign up now it�s FREE!! http://pbbt.com/jump/1022/whee <a href="http://pbbt.com/jump/1022/whee";> AOL users click here </a> =======================--------- Quote of the Day: When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. -- Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry =======================--------- Self-serving Excuses The Sunday 4/10/94 ed. of the Washington Post Style Invitational Challenge was to emulate Sen. Charles Robb and come up with a self-serving Moral loophole (Such as, "It's not extramarital sex if you don't actually sleep with the person ...") The brevity award (A pair of briefs) went to "Chocolate is a vegetable." 5th place - It doesn't count as tabloid reporting if you're only reporting that the tabloids reported it ... 4th runner up - You're still sober as lounge as you can still say your worms promperty. 3rd - It isn't a preexisting condition unless you had it before you existed. 1st runner up - You're not fat if clothes are actually made in your size. Winner - You're not guilty of DUI if you thought someone else was driving. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Honorable mentions: It is not vote fraud unless you can prove those dead guys would have voted the other way. You are not abusing drugs if you store them in a cool, dry place and never shout at them. You are not bald if you have hair growing out of your nose. It is not premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married. You are not drinking alcohol if you plan on puking it back up. It is not racketeering if you use a bat. It isn't procrastination if you decide to postpone it RIGHT NOW. It's not plagerism if you would have written it exactly that way. =======================--------- Get 4 DVDs for just 49� each (+ s&h) at chdvd.com from Columbia House! Choose from a wide selection of comedy, action/adventure, classic and sci-fi titles like Almost Famous, Billy Elliot, Wizard of Oz, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and more... All at incredible savings! Click for details! http://pbbt.com/jump/1022/yipee <a href="http://pbbt.com/jump/1022/yipee";> AOL users click here </a> =======================--------- This mailing is NEVER sent without your express permission. Please feel free to forward this email on in it's entirety. To subscribe: http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/ [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe: Click the link at the bottom of this message, or [EMAIL PROTECTED] To send feedback: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Advertising: We are always looking for quality advertisers for the pbbt.com website and this mailing list. Please email mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] for rates and sales information. 25% discount* if you mention funnystuff. This joke was brought to you by the funnystuff mailing list. Get today's joke on the web @ http://www.pbbt.com/funnystuff/today.shtml =========================================== You have been selected to get a 1000 Free AwardMiles from Topica. The process takes less than 30 seconds... Click here and join Milesource for your Free AwardMiles! http://click.topica.com/caaadE0b1dhsSb1uOHTf/Milesource =========================================== ==^================================================================ EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?b1dhsS.b1uOHT Or send an email To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] This email was sent to: [email protected] T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^================================================================
