Here are some Dilbert one liners...

*1. I say no to alcohol, *
*It just doesn't listen.*
* *
*2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.*
* *
*3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.*
* *
*4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.*
* *
*5. When everything comes in your way *
*You're in the wrong lane.*
* *
*6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..*
* *
*7. Born free, *
*Taxed to death.*
* *
*8. Everyone has a photographic memory, *
*Some just don't have film..*
**
*9. Life is unsure; *
*Always eat your dessert first.*
* *
*10. Smile, *
*It makes people wonder what you are thinking.*
* *
*11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, *
*You'll have trouble putting on your pants.*
* *
*12. It's not hard to meet expenses, *
*They are everywhere.*
* *
*13. I love being a writer... *
*What I can't stand is the paperwork.*
**
*14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray
and the blinking red light.*
* *
*15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. *
*The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.*
* *
*16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate
it.*
* *
*17. In a country of free speech, *
*Why are there phone bills?*
* *
*18. If you cannot change your mind, *
*Are you sure you have one?*
* *
*19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, *
*Leave work at noon!*
* *
*20. If you can't convince them, *
*Confuse them.*
* *
*21. It's not the fall that kills you. *
*It's the sudden stop at the end.*
* *
*22. I couldn't repair your brakes, *
*So, I made your horn louder!*
* *
*23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.*
* *
*      24. The cigarette does the smoking, *
*You are just the sucker.*
* *
*25. Someday is not a day of the week.*
* *
*26. Whenever I find the key to success, *
*Someone changes the lock.*
* *
*27. To Err is human, *
*To forgive is not a company policy.*
* *
*28. The road to success.... *
*Is always under construction.*
* *
*29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, *
*But, if you think again, neither does milk.*
* *
*30. In order to get a loan, *
*You first need to prove that you don't need it.*
**

*And my favourite ...*


*31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive,
fattening or married to someone else.*


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