There are a lot of talk about this Bill Gates, I though you don't mind a bit of relaxation....Eva > "The Star Trek Lost Episode" Transcript -- Author unknown > > (Picard) "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at > finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to > access > their command pathways?" > > (Geordi) "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching > through > our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology." > > (Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.) > > (Riker looks puzzled.) "What's 'Microsoft'?" > > (Data turns to answer.) "Allow me to explain. We will send this > program, > for unknown reasons called 'Windows', through the Borg command > pathways. > Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system > resources at an unstoppable rate." > > (Picard) "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter > their > processing systems to increase their storage capacity?" > > (Data) "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a > new > version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources > increases > exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt > quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be > taken > over and none will be available for their normal operational > functions." > > (Picard) "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable > geometric shape' idea." > > (Data) "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the > command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all > resources. > We however have not received any confirmation of the expected > 'upgrade'." > > (Geordi) "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and > CPU > capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an > 'upgrade' > to > compensate for their increase." > > (Picard) "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is > something we have missed." > > (Data) "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the > 'upgrade'. > Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not > sending > in their registration cards." > > (Riker) "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin > emergency escape sequence 3F..." > > (Geordi, excited) "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity > has > suddenly dropped to 0%!" > > (Picard) "Data, what does your scanners show?" > > (Data) "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module > named > 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity." > > (Picard) "Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce > their > functionality." > > (Riker) "Geordi what's the status on the Borg?" > > (Geordi) "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to > compensate > for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully > increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon > to > transmit more 'windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft > fun-pack'. > > (Picard) "How much time will that buy us?" > > (Data) "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an interest > time > span of 6 more hours." > > (Geordi) "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector." > > (Picard) "Identify." > > (Data) "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' > logo." > > (Over the speakers) "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT > FLAGSHIP > MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN > THIS > SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE > 10 > SECONDS" > > (Data) "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and > released > thousands of humanoid shaped objects." > > (Picard) "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!" > > (Riker) "Good God, captain! Those are humans floating straight > toward > the > Borg ship with no life support suits! How can they survive the > tortures > of > deep space?!" > > (Data) "I do not believe that those are humans sir, if you will look > closer > I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by > twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing > Armani > suits" > > (Riker and Picard together horrified) "Lawyers!!" > > (Geordi) "It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent > hurtling > into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening." > > (Data) "True, but apparently some must have survived." > > (Riker) "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with > all > types of papers." > > (Data) "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red tape' - > it > often proves fatal." > > (Riker) "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!" > > (Picard) "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even > the > Borg deserve that." [EMAIL PROTECTED]
