This fell into my head yesterday, so I thought I better write it down.
Then I didn't know what to do with it. Perhaps someone might send it
along to a good home somewhere:
Trolls
Once upon a time, there was a humble and unassuming country, full of
hardworking and apparently honest and industrious people, who had
struggled to raise themselves up until they had a land which was not
great and powerful, but was well-tended and congenial, providing them
all with a decent, though not extravagant life. By and large, they were
content.
But deep within the culture which had developed in this country was a
dark secret, closely hidden, but waiting to reveal itself, to their
ruin.
Now, it came to pass, that this apparently contented country came to the
attention of the rapacious horde of Trolls, who swaggered across the
world, robbing, pillaging, amassing great wealth, and above all, eating
humans wherever they could. They would arrive in a country, and they
would march up to a house, guarding all the exits as they smashed in the
door, and sought through the interior for soft succulent humans. And if
they found any they would gobble them down in one gulp, as they would
those who tried to flee out the other doors and windows.
Now these Trolls were large and powerful, but they were not invincible.
They could be defeated by any group of humans who banded together and
used their ingenuity to devise weapons and strategies to smash them.
When they encountered a formidable human opposition, they would flee
rather than suffer damage, pain or death. However, they had no fear of
small numbers of humans, whom they could crush easily.
So it was that the Great Troll advanced toward the humble country, at
the head of his Horde, and his Chief Advisor said to him "I don't know
that this is such a good idea: these people are humble, but they are
diligent. They have worked very hard and made this rugged land be
fruitful and provide them with a comfortable home. They have much in the
way of resources. They surely will mount a strong resistance to our
arrival."
But the Great Troll said nothing, he just smiled, showing his very
large, very sharp teeth.
And when the Horde had nearly reached the border, the Chief Advisor said
once more "O, Your Viciousness, are you sure you want to disturb this
country, for their great vigour and cleverness surely forbodes a
difficult campaign for us".
But the Great Troll merely raised an eyebrow, and mused, around the
toothpick with which he was probing around the base of his largest and
sharpest fang, "I'm hungry...".
Then he rose up and swaggered off across the frontier, saying over his
shoulder "Don't worry, my spies have also been very clever and
diligent."
Then he stopped just inside the border, and pulled out from his booty
bag a Clever and Magical Device which he had plundered from one of the
many countries he had crushed. It was a device which would make his
voice heard throughout the country. He held it up to his mouth, and said
"Greetings citizens! I am happy to announce that the Great and Wonderful
Troll Horde has chosen your fortunate nation to visit! Rejoice, for it
is your great fortune. We are rich and powerful beyond your fondest
imagination, and we have deemed you worthy of our attention.
"Now, as you may know, some of you may have the great privilege of
providing us with a meal, for we are a mightily hungry Horde. But now
listen to the great good fortune which has been bestowed upon you: it
has come to our attention that there is one among you, who, by the most
extraordinary of circumstances, has come to live here in this fine land,
but is in truth a young and immature Troll. One who is destined not only
to grow up to be one of us, but is in fact my own child, stolen from me
by vile magicians, for whom I have long been searching! When this one is
located, they shall be received with great rejoicing, and shall take
their place by my side at the head of the Glorious Troll Horde! Prepare
ye then to greet us!"
Then he put down the device, and turned to his Lieutenants. "Have at
them!", he said. "Good eating."
And the Troll Horde began making its way through the country, house by
house, door to door, consuming every living soul, and piling their
wagons high with loot.
And the Chief Advisor turned to the Great Troll and said in wonderment
"I don't understand! They are mounting no resistance whatsoever! How can
this be?"
"Easy", laughed the Great Troll, shredding the last muscle from the
tendon clinging to the stout femur he clutched in his great fist. "They
have no thought of organizing any resistance! Each one is sure that they
are the one who is truly a Troll, and deserving of a Great Troll's
wealth and power. They can't think otherwise until they are already
being eaten!"
"Now are you going to finish eating those babies? If not, toss me that
one that's screaming loudest, I like lively food!"
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