Thank you for all of your effort on this. I find it confusing and more of the same. You said: I said: You claim I said, You claim you didn't say, etc. etc. I am confused however.
What has Jewish speculators like Soros done to you personally? Your anger is very intense and personal and I haven't and still don't understand it's roots. What have they done to you? I'm happy defending Gypsies but they are not my people and I only struggle to tell the truth about how they've been treated. I don't carry a torch for them. I feel the same way about African Americans, Jewish Americans and homosexual Americans. I defend justice but it doesn't have the passion and the anger that I feel around my own people, family and my profession. I'll go the mile but it's not in my gut the way the actual doing to me personally is in my gut. The other is more philosophical. I have Jewish and Black relatives and I have defense of them personally in my gut. I have Jewish and Black students and I feel the same way about them personally. Two of my great teachers are Jewish and the other was Black. I have them in my gut. I will defend all of them as a point of honor and connection to my life. However, if I think any of them are wrong I will tell them as well as anyone else. But the gut anger is only there if it means a personal life and death issue. You've made life and death charges that I'm not equipped to judge and my google doesn't substantiate. But you do seem to have something very personal in for this guy. Have you experienced something similar? Has he hurt your family? Other than cash I mean. I would kill a lot of people if cash was the parameter. I also don't hold people whose work is money responsible for having more of it than I do. I have more notes and culture than they do. But when they use it to hurt my profession then it gets personal because then I can't do the notes or culture. You do hit upon a point that I and many other American Indians have had to make our peace with. Seeing 92 out of every one hundred people in our communities die as a result of Europe was not an easy thing for our ancestors. Having no advance in birth rate over five hundred years and having my friends sterilized, in the last century, because of societal policies about traditional people, is also not an easy thing. Seeing all of our discoveries and artistic, religious and scientific advancements stolen and lied about is difficult to watch. Seeing my parents choose to lie about their ethnicity because they had no standing in court even if my sister was raped or my father's was shot and killed as an Indian and listening to the grief in my scholar-historian-psychometrist father's voice wasn't great either. (Yes Shirley Sherrod was not an anomaly in my experience ). http://www.google.com/webhp?rls=ig#rls=ig&hl=en&source=hp&q=shirley+sherrod&; aq=0z&aqi=g-z1g9&aql=&oq=Shir&gs_rfai=CokweL85UTJ-0D5mMhQSLxvCJBAAAAKoEBU_QF eet&fp=96854f2bb3a267a6 Listening to my Indian Grandmother say "Thank God they are nice and white when my sister was born was also not a bonding experience. Having to conflict with Christians that I love within my own family because they suffer the Stockholm Syndrome identifying and glorifying the oppressor that would simply erase our culture and religion is also not "swell." Not being able to study or know the faith that I carry in my being and discovered through 50 years of theatrical character exploration and culture was also not a happy thing. Not happy until Congress gave us the right to publish and know that history and participate in its life and rituals when I was 37 years old in 1978. Who showed you the path of the poets? The fountain and the river of the ancient song. My heart of silk is filled with lights, with lost bells, with lilies and bees. I will go very far, farther than those hills, farther than the seas, close to the stars, to beg Christ the Lord to give back the soul I had of old, when I was a child, ripened with legends...... the dead leaves weep. Federico Garcia Lorca Being harassed for studying my faith, art and culture at all, when it was who I was at birth, is still a particularly galling thing in my life. Of course Garcia Lorca was executed by the Civil Guard for doing such a thing. Why should I worry? I'm still here! But you wouldn't join the army would you? Not even if it meant your family lived? Indians have defended America in the Armed Forces in higher numbers than any other ethnic group, majority or minority. Actually I'm proud of my service. We did good things in the Army and what we did has born fruit for the past forty years in the area where I served. I had something to do with that and a capitalist structure would never have succeeded in doing the same. In fact, where capitalism has tried it has produced a trinkets and trash religious culture that demeaned the great works of art. I did much better than that. I actually liked the Army for that reason and am friends with my alums from that time. But I don't do well institutionalized. I left the Army and came to the private capital market in New York. But unlike you I found no heroes. Just people. I found no villains, just greed and venality. I found banality and mediocrity. But what a life? Not being able to make a living at my profession commensurate with my skills and training (because of my insistence on my identity) is another thing that I haven't found "fun." I could go on and on with this down into the abyss that Meyerhold went. But what is the point? We are already fewer in number than Swiss Americans. An Abyss that I know well and have traveled throughout my life but I don't particularly like you for your attitude that demands I go there to score a debate point. Today, people using the same language and attitude you show are carrying guns and stockpiling ammunition and using YOU and your country as their ideal against an unarmed left wing in America that they see as controlling the government and their lives. A left wing that is so tepid that in my "time" they would have been called right wing. These people today are not my America. But their attitudes towards guns they give you credit for. We used to shoot gunrunners. Today they are the heroes of the tea party. I've walked the circle with you and we are now back where we started. It is at this point that I choose to get off the wheel. I won't ignore you but I will not talk about any of these things with you again. If you want my input then it had better be about something else that I'm interested in. This has gotten all of the time I will give it. I made my peace with America in spite of the Topdog arrogance of the majority and that includes Swiss expatriates living here. Not that they are any worse than any other group. Still I don't choose to scrape the scabs off of my scars just for anyone's enjoyment. REH _______________________________________________ Futurework mailing list [email protected] https://lists.uwaterloo.ca/mailman/listinfo/futurework
