Love it! M -----Original Message----- From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Anjana Basu Sent: Thursday, December 02, 2010 4:56 PM Subject: [TriumphOfContent] Royal wedding? It's the bland leading the bland
Royal wedding? It's the bland leading the bland Kate Middleton is the perfect people's princess for this dull, conservative land * * * <http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/ 26/kate-middleton-conservative-style&t=Royal wedding? It's the bland leading the bland | UK news | The Guardian&src=sp> Share300 * <http://reddit.com/submit?url=http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/26/kate- middleton-conservative-style> Reddit * <http://uk.buzz.yahoo.com/buzz?publisherurn=the_guardian665&targetUrl=http:/ /www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/26/kate-middleton-conservative-style&summary =Kate+Middleton+is+the+perfect+people's+princess+for+this+dull,+conservative +land&headline= Royal wedding? It's the bland leading the bland | UK news | The Guardian> Buzz up * Comments ( <http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/26/kate-middleton-conservative-style# start-of-comments> 149) * <http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/suzannemoore> moore * * Suzanne Moore <http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/suzannemoore> * guardian.co.uk <http://www.guardian.co.uk/> , Friday 26 November 2010 22.00 GMT * Article history <http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/26/kate-middleton-conservative-style# history-link-box> Kate Middleton and Prince William <http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/11/26/129080 0020712/Kate-Middleton-and-Prince-007.jpg> Kate Middleton and Prince William. Photograph: Suzanne Plunkett/Reuters Had I recently arrived from a land far away - and indeed it's a long time since I have been in this newspaper - I wouldn't have much trouble telling you which government is in power. I would simply glance around at people's homes, the clothes they wear, the programmes they watch on TV, and I would see as clear as day that conservative taste stalks the land. It was creeping up on us before the Tories were elected but now it is triumphant. In its understated way of course. Conservative taste does not present itself as anything but good taste. It is just "classic". It is nice, cosy, comfortable rather than sexy. It is simply the way things should be. To see it in action just look at the swish of the Middleton hair. Of course this lovely young woman has lovely hair which has been blow-dried into glossy swishiness. This is the pinnacle of her achievement and every woman in the land should aspire to it. I'm afraid its enough to make me want get a mohican; if you are not born into it, what is now middle class just looks middle-aged. This may, of course, be about my refusal to age gracefully, but why, watching this hard-edged girl and diffident young manboy, did I feel unable to place them generationally? They don't resemble any young people I know. It was her tights that did it - flesh-coloured. Opaques would bring down the monarchy <http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/monarchy> . But what do I know? Fashion editors liked the dress. Possibly "surrendered wife" is the look du jour. Of course it's all nice enough in a middle-aged "don't frighten the horses" Tory spouse way. This is why the image didn't chime with the sycophantic write-ups. And why indifference rather than ecstasy is the more common reaction to this wedding. On one hand we are told Kate is a modern girl, on the other she seems to have no opinions and only a pretend job. Her forthcoming role as wedding mannequin and unbreakable ornament may indeed be her heart's desire but I see no way in which it could be described as modern. The whole circus does not take us a step further towards a bicycling monarchy, instead it simply shores up the royal carriage rather well. Cameron banged the table in delight at the news. No wonder! Away with that "people's princess" lark, for here we have a fittingly Tory princess. Us proles must not only be happy with a long weekend but also strangely grateful that William has deigned to marry one of us! One of the sleights of hand that current political discourse is pulling off nicely is the ever elastic definition of middle class. Thus a woman whose school fees cost as much as the average salary is deemed middle class. This is blatantly rubbish. She is just less posh than many of the cabinet. But it is in the interests of this government that more and more of us define ourselves this way. As a result we define ourselves against the poor, those on benefit or in council housing. These days though, we don't just reveal our class through politics or wealth, but through the myriad decisions we make about how we live. We do it through what we consume and what we aspire to. And it's in these areas that the conservative sensibility is rising to the fore. There is far more to it than the Bodenisation of all Cameron surveys. There is a real lurch to the middlebrow right across culture. We have given up and stepped back from the more minimalist, brutalist lines of 90s decor in our homes. Yes, we like it clean and airy but we also like a bit of clutter. If you are very rich you have a few antiques mixed in with the modernism. If not you can buy new stuff that's been pre-distressed. Crafts are making a comeback, hardly surprising in a recession, but also to do with a vision of homeliness. On cue, Kirstie Allsopp - no longer fuelling property speculation - is here to tell us how to stencil blinds and haggle at car boot sales. Home-making is not to be sneered at but is very time-consuming. Only women who don't have to work can turn themselves into a full-time arts and crafts movement. Musical taste is also being frozen into a never-ending parade of blandness via the Cowellisation of the industry. The X Factor is not about music but entertainment and operates to close down parameters. It depends on dire, middlebrow reinterpretations of the classics removed from any context. We suddenly have to accept that Elton John is up there as a classic songwriter with the Beatles. Take That are as important as Nirvana. Why? The nearest The X Factor gets to contemporary music is when some contestant is allowed to "rap". This is music for people who don't like music. Then there is always Strictly Come Dancing, another show that looks back, not forwards, to when men were men and women sequined ostriches. This blanding out of popular culture extends right across the board. We now favour art that is about beauty and uplift rather than shocking conceptualism. Indeed the enfants terribles of the art world have become domesticated. Tracey Emin is hanging out with Tories and bemoaning higher-rate taxation while Cameron hands out graffiti art by a Banksy collaborator as a gift. The appropriation of the avant garde into the mainstream is not new. The prevalence of Conservative style is the norm to which we all aspire. This is a style that explicitly represses sex and money. Bling is for those who don't have wealth. Sex is about Sam Cam style prettiness and should not be overt. It's about cleanliness and enormous amounts of grooming. No wonder that every subculture at some point makes women look properly dirty with smeared mascara and messed-up hair. Conservative style is about everything being in the right place whereas real style depends on interesting juxtapositions. It is about more than buying a Heals kitchen or getting a nice blow-dry. These conventions are deadening and restrictive. During a recession nostalgia sells, but nostalgia for what exactly? Get your Emma Bridgewater cups on your Cath Kidston tablecloth and make cupcakes in your Issa dress, while listening to a middle of the road Bowie cover if you must. But this is not fashion. Or actual taste. It is buying into a vision of classlessness that has been defined entirely by the upper middle class as just the way things are. It is heart-stoppingly dull. These signs and rituals of respectability are part of the dominant consensus. This blanding out is a narrowing down of what culture can do. Of what life can be. So away with the floral oven gloves! The down-home, retro, neutered aesthetics of conservatism are as deadly as their politics. 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