YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2012 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
I have no PIN and no microwave. The people at the bank occasionally
grumble about the PIN but nobody seems to care about the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
I've never played solitaire at all.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
Five for a family of seven or two for a family of two, depending on
how you look at it.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
Oh, well, been doing *that* since 1989. It *is* a little strange,
though, to send email to my wife in the next room if only because I'm
aware that it gets routed to Halifax, to servers in NYC and then
Virgina, then back to NYC (but those servers owned in California) and
then to Cambridge, ON via Toronto, from whence she fetches in here in
the neighboring room.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.
Yes. Well, actually, all the friends and family I *want* to stay in
contact with have email. But email is, yew know, soooo 20th century.
I don't stay on contact with *anybody* whose contact depends on
Farcebook.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to
see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries...
No cell phone.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom
Of the screen.
No television. Except that there's one over the chair at my
dentist's. There, I see so much steaming text and blinking doo-dads
at the bottom of the screen that I can't keep track of the
pictures. Well, Gerry Mander wrote that watching TV puts you into a
kind of trance state. I can see the promise of that when somebody is
excavating you central nervous system with a power tool.
8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't
even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now
a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
Still no mobil phone, 70 years and counting.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.
*Nothing* comes before coffee. The head is second. On-line is third.
To slightly misquote Spider Robinson, Coffee recapitulates phylogeny.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
I never had a problem with doing rotation of axes in my head.
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
Nah, just feeling superior, y'know? ;-) [<- rotate axes]
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.
Never.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no 9 on this list.
Busy? Moi? But yer right, I didn't notice.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't
a 9 on this list.
Of course. I even added periods at the ends of the numbered squibs
where they had been omitted before I quoted them.
I guess I'm not *really* living in 2012, huh? I actually bought and
read a dead-tree newspaper today.
Well, if I can find last weeks paper, I'll try to make my next post a
bit more on-topic. There was a piece in the G&M reviling David Suzuki
for slamming economists that I thought used an egregious staw man
argument.
Trivially,
- Mike
--
Michael Spencer Nova Scotia, Canada .~.
/V\
[email protected] /( )\
http://home.tallships.ca/mspencer/ ^^-^^
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