Re:
-brits think spending $122bn on missile defence systems is funny
Well . . . not all of us!
hugs
j
btw: I hope all read the last paragraph of the original:
- this is the puzzle (well, not too much of a puzzle) that underlies
(literally) all our problems.
Happy bar-b-q-ing
j =0)
**********
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>From: "Michael Gurstein" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>To: "futurework" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Subject: Fw: brits think spending $122bn on missile defence systems is funny
>Date: Thu, Jul 13, 2000, 7:13 AM
>
> a gem...
>
> MG
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: MichaelP <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: <unlikely suspects: ;>
> Sent: Wednesday, July 12, 2000 8:59 PM
> Subject: brits think spending $122bn on missile defence systems is funny
>
>
>> GUARDIAN (London)Wednesday July 12, 2000
>>
>> Missile impossible, part two
>> This was a most expensive display, much like our own River of Fire
>> John O'Farrell
>>
>> It has been a difficult few days for Lieutenant- General Ronald Kadish,
>> director of America's Ballistic Missile Defence Organisation.
>>
>> At the weekend he invited friends over to show them his new
>> intercontinental missile defence shield, and isn't it always the way; the
>> bloody thing didn't work. A Minuteman II was fired from southern
>> California. Another missile was fired from 4,500 miles away in the middle
>> of the Pacific ocean to intercept the oncoming warhead, but apparently the
>> necessary electronic signal was not received at the correct time or
>> something. That'll teach him not to read the manual beforehand.
>>
>> It all happened so quickly; suddenly the missile was careering off target,
>> billions of dollars of military hardware was heading in the wrong
>> direction at 16,000mph and Ronald was frantically skimming through the
>> chapter entitled Care of Your Minuteman Missile System.
>>
>> Then his wife had a better idea: "Quick phone the helpline!" And while the
>> president was demanding to know what was going on, the poor general was
>> stuck listening to a recorded message that said "Thank you for calling the
>> ICBM helpline --.
>> If you wish to purchase other Minuteman missile systems, press 1.
>> If you are phoning about our direct debit payment plan, press 2.
>> If your intercontinental missile has malfunctioned and is hurtling toward
>> southern California, press 3 and hold for an operator."
>>
>> Then they played a tinny version of Bolero as the general watched $100bn
>> go up in smoke.
>>
>> It was the most expensive fireworks display of all time, but like our own
>> River of Fire, it was a bit of a disappointment. Everyone went "ooohhh"
>> but there was no "aaahhh". Not even Mrs. Kadish's delicious mulled wine
>> and the packet of sparklers could offer much consolation. Hundreds of
>> people covered their eyes in embarrassed disbelief. It was like the
>> premier of John Travolta's Battlefield Earth all over again.
>>
>> This is not the first time America's missile systems have missed their
>> target. During the Gulf war, a great deal was made of the Patriot
>> missiles' ability to knock out the oncoming Scuds. The Patriots were
>> declared a huge success because out of 22 Scuds fired, 21 were
>> intercepted. But this is where the US military use a different language to
>> the rest of us.
>>
>> As everyone remembers, lots of Scuds got through and caused enormous
>> damage. So a Pentagon spokesman was forced to explain that when they said
>> "intercepted", they meant that the path of the Patriot crossed the path of
>> the Scud, though not necessarily at the same time. So "intercepted" means
>> "missed". If modern defence strategists had planned the D-day landings,
>> the allied forces would have found themselves wading ashore at
>> Torremolinos.
>>
>> Despite the US spending $122bn on missile defence systems, they have yet
>> to develop anything which actually defends anyone against missiles.
>> Perhaps I'm being over-picky, but you would have thought that this wasn't
>> really good enough. And even though it is no longer clear who is going to
>> declare war on the world's only super-power, the man who may well be the
>> next president, George W Bush, remains a great supporter of the Stars Wars
>> project. America may have token enemies like Iraq or Libya, but they're no
>> more likely to launch intercontinental missile attacks than Darth Vader
>> himself.
>>
>> Instead of spending unfeasibly large amounts of money on the unworkable
>> national defence shield, the Pentagon would be better off buying a Super
>> Soaker XP 2000 (slogan, Wetter is Better). Admittedly it is unlikely that
>> the Super Soaker would actually intercept any incoming nuclear missiles
>> but it's got about the same chance as anything else they have tried while
>> having the advantage of being cheaper. Even if the Pentagon eventually
>> upgraded to the more expensive Super Soaker Monster XL with multiple
>> nozzles and extra large reservoir, they would still save a fortune.
>>
>> Of course, when it comes to military spending the cash is always
>> available. They could launch an aircraft carrier that didn't float and
>> still get funding for another one. Why is it that enormous amounts of
>> taxpayers' money are always available for defence spending, and yet if it
>> is education or health we have to help make up the shortfall ourselves?
>> You don't get soldiers' wives organising summer fetes to raise money for
>> much needed nuclear warheads. "Tank rides round the square 50p." "Throw a
>> wet sponge at the general - three goes for a pound." I suppose the sponge
>> would only fly off in the wrong direction and land on the napalm barbecue.
>>
>> If the smart bombs were that smart they would decommission themselves and
>> redirect the much needed funding towards health, education and overseas
>> aid. It wasn't the missile that missed the target this week. It was all
>> that money that went up in smoke with it.
>>
>> ======================
>>
>> *** NOTICE: In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, this material
>> is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest
>> in receiving the included information for research and educational
>> purposes. Feel free to distribute widely but PLEASE acknowledge the
>> source. ***
>>
>>
>
>
