Brad McCormick quoted:
> "[Erving] Goffman's First Law":
>
>    Wherever there is a system,
>    there is a way to "work" it.

Definitely!


City of Los Angeles  High School Math Proficiency Exam
======================================================

1. Johnny has an AK47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots
and shoots 15 times each drive by, how many drive by shootings must he
conduct before he shoots 50 people?

  Johnny hits 15*(4/10) people per drive by, which means that he
  will have to participate in 9 drive bys to shoot 50 people.
  However, he will have completed two drive-by shootings and be
  just starting the third when he has to reload. Since he only
  stole a single clip, he'll only have shot 16 people when the
  homeboys with the UZI's make Swiss cheese out of him.

2. Pony has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8 ball to Jackson for
$320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value
of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

  At 454 grams per pound, 2oz of the rock = 56.75 grams. An "8
  ball" is 8 grams, so pony has sold 10 grams total and has 46.75
  grams left. If he keeps selling 8-balls, he can sell 5 more (for
  a total of 5*$320=$1,600) and have 6.75 grams for his own nose.
  If he sells 2 gram packs, he can sell (46/2-23) packs at $85
  apiece = (23*$85)=$1,955. However, he could divide it into small
  parts, bake it up into crack and sell the rocks for an even
  larger profit. This problem is really more suited for the Gang
  Multi-Variable Economics Test.

3. Ron is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick,
how many tricks will each have to turn so Ron can pay for his $800
per day crack habit.

  800/$64=12 tricks plus a dance. Also, Ron should consider making
  a deal with Pony from Question #2.

4. Susan wants to cut her 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit.
How many ounces of cut will she need?

  If she sells the cut heroin at the same price per unit volume,
  she will need 20% more volume. 20% of 1/2 pound (=8oz) is 1.6oz.
  So, Susan will need 1.6oz of cut to add to the 8 oz of heroin to
  get 20% more volume. She will want a cut which looks similar to
  raw heroin and has approximately the same melting point. Plain
  sugar or laundry detergent are suggested. Laundry detergent has
  the added benefit of removing the possibility of customer
  complaints, but will sharply limit repeat business.

5. Blade gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for
a 4x4. If he has already stolen 2BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Chevy's
will he have to steal to make $800?

  Blade has made 2*$200 + 3*$100=$700 dollars from his theft so
  far. He needs $100 more, so he needs to steal $100/$50=2 more
  Chevy's. However, he will probably want to steal 4 Chevy's so he
  can take the extra two and make a really def low-rider.

6. Little Willy is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $25,000
for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $250 per month, how
much money will be left when he gets out of prison and how many
years will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money?

  6 years*12 months/year*$250/month=$18,000. Little Willy will
  have $25,000 - $18,000 = $7,000 left when he gets out of prison.
  If Little Willy kills her in the USA, he should expect to get 6
  years. However, if he takes her down to Mexico and buries her
  scrawny, track-marked butt in the desert, he can get off scott
  free.

7. If the average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet, and
the average letter is 4 square feet, how many letters can a tagger
spray with 3 cans of paint?

  3 cans of paint will cover 3*22=66 square feet. 66/4=16 letters
  with a little paint left over to spray in the eyes of the cop
  who's comin' after you. Or the tagger could do 15 letters and a
  bitchin' skull.

8. Hector got 6 girls in his gang pregnant. There are 27 girls in the
gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?

  6/27=22% of the girls. However, 2 of them are lying because
  they've been sleeping with Pedro, Hector's lieutenant. So, in
  actuality, Hector only knocked up 4/27 or 14.8%.

9. Rosie's sole source of income is shoplifting. If she gets 10 cents on
the dollar from her fence, how much merchandise must she shoplift each
week to make $250.

  Solve X/10=250 for X, X=$2,500.

10. Mike carjacked a Chevy Camaro for his date Saturday night with his
young 14 year old girlfriend. He was arrested that night while making his
girlfriend in the backseat. How much prison time is he looking for for the
carjacking and for statutory rape, even though the girl looked legal?
Assume no prior convictions in arriving at your answer.

  Mike is only 12 so he will serve no time and will be making
  his girlfriend in the lot in someone else's car next Saturday.


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