http://GlobalBS.8k.com/story10.htm
Bullying program emphasizes real-world applications By Otto Kratic The Vancouver Scum CHILLIWACK - BC Education Dominatrix Christy Clark today announced a bold new curriculum for the province's high schools called "A Bully New Era for BC students." "This innovative program tackles the important issue of bullying head-on to meet the real-world needs of today's teens," said Clark. The minister denied the new program was rushed into place because of stinging criticism of her ministry for eliminating anti-bullying programs last week just as a Fraser valley teen was convicted for bullying a fellow student who committed suicide. "This is just the right curriculum for these difficult times," she affirmed, "while the previous one was a well-meaning relic of an outdated nanny state." Avoiding bland motherhood cliches, the new curriculum helps prepare youths for future integration into society and the job market. "By exploring parallels between school bullying and larger social trends, the curriculum can make this abstract issue relevant to kid's everyday lives," explained Clark. "Arrogant and tyrannical treatment may seem hurtful in a school locker room, but students need to realize that this is business-as-usual in the low-level service jobs that they can look forward to after graduation," Clark said. "Especially after we complete much needed reforms to BC's Stalinist Labour Standards." "Kids may feel picked on when a bully steals their lunch but, looking at the bigger picture, they'll see that our education program cutbacks are doing the same thing to thousands of other kids in inner-city schools, and they won't feel so alone," Clark said brightly. If a bully promises to leave a youngster alone and then reneges on their verbal contract, it is a valuable life lesson for the future under a government regime that cancels workers' contracts and reneges on promises to voters on a daily basis. "Old-style anti-bullying curriculums are counter-productive because they just molly-coddle students, acting like overprotective union security-blankets trying to insulate them from market forces," Clark lectured. For example, children may resent paying protection money to enrich powerful student bullies. But this actually prepares them for the reality of subsidizing multi-billion-dollar corporations $2 per hour for the first 500 hours of their minimum-wage careers-- as well as extortionist 300% increases in university tuition, according to Clark. "By getting students to take individual responsibility for their situation, we better ready them for real life in the post-union, post-welfare, post-minimum-wage, post-Medicare, post-WCB, post-compassionate new era of opportunity for exploitation in BC," Clark enthused. "And let's not forget that today's schoolyard bullies will be tomorrow's corporate executive and Liberal government leaders," she added with a smile.
