*Alcohoroscopes *
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We've seen a lot of horoscopes and birth signs related to animals, colors,
flowers, numbers, and all things you can just imagine, but here's something
you can think about and have some laugh. Lol! I'm a Pisces so I have an
"addictive personality" huh? Have fun!

Alcohoroscopes explains your expected behaviour after you get drunk based on
your sun sign.

ARIES - Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometime
sdon’t know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them
prone to closing-time shot contests. They’re sloppy, fun drunks, and they
get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk I sa
good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries
can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever
happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be
counted on to do the same for you — so long as you haven’t gone and done
anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.

TAURUS - Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming
for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated
Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate
who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the
preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and
barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say thatthe
Bull is by any means a teetotaler — god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er,
gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely
amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.

CANCER - Drinking style Cancer is a comfort drinker — and an extra wine with
dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can’t it,
Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard
against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and
insinuating themselves on VIP lists — and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers
are never really drunk; instead, they get ‘tired and emotional’ (read: weepy
when lubricated). But there’s nothing better than swapping stories (and
spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even
your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla,
and you’d be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO - Drinking style Leo likes to drink and dance — they’re often fabulous
dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding
dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they’re quite aware they’re
darling -Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit,
probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get
over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue — and perhaps not with the one what
rung them. But Leo’s not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just
try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expects a sheepish (and hung over)
Lion to make it up to you the next day.

VIRGO - Drinking style Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto
their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking
less than other signs, sure –but it could also lead to drinking booze neat,
to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully
shellacked — but, oh, when they do! Virgo’s controlled by the intellect, but
there’s an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when
walloped. It’s dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend
used to declare, ‘I’m going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence
tonight.’ A toast to the sub genius IQ!

LIBRA - Drinking style ‘I’m jusht a social drinker,’ slurs Libra, ‘it’s
jusht that I’m so damn social?’ Libra loves nothing more than to party,
mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with
Insta-Frienddevice set to ‘on’) or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are
little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming
as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which
can get them into all sorts of trouble –including wearing their wobbly boots
waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the roomor
even blacking out the night’s events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO - Drinking style Don’t ever tell Scorpios they’ve had enough, for
they’ll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till
they’re hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to
drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe
sauce as something to savor in itself, and not asa personality-altering tool
— though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But
generally, they’re fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists
and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything — especially what you did
when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS - Drinking style In vino veritas — and, for Sagittarius, in
booze blurtiness: When buttered, they’ll spill all your secrets and many of
their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with.
This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign
of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They’re
the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd
to travel somewhere else — like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun.
Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of
loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

CAPRICORN - Drinking style Capricorn is usually described as practical,
steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty — no wonder they get left off the
astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and
Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star:
independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please.
And if they make money being themselves, who’re you to quibble? But just
like most rock stars, they’re either totally on or totally off, and they
generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after
party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie.

AQUARIUS - Drinking style Aquarius and drinking don’t go together that
well(except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward
know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they’re more stubborn
than a stain or a stone. If they’re throwing a party or organizing an
outing, however, they’re too preoccupied with their duties to get combative
— and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they’re
usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers
(if you can get them before they start raising their wrist):Aquarius is
fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations
with soused strangers while sober.

PISCES - Drinking style If you’re a Pisces, you’ve probably already heard
that you share a sign and an addictive personality –with Liz Taylor, Lisa
Minnelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the
dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a
mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other
hand, they’re fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in
crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of
margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase ‘addictive
personality’ can be read two ways, you
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/alcohoroscopes-03022009.html>know. .





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