Extra Marital Affairs ( Good Humor Must Read And Forward )




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                Extra Marital Affairs













             

































































              

















The 1st Affair:


 


A married man was having an affair with his
secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all
afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

 


The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take
his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.


 


"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.


"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm
having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."

 


"You lying bastard!


You've been playing golf!"


 


The 2nd Affair:


 


A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but
always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they
always wanted.

 


The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby
boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his
new son.

 


He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever
seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the
father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you
been fooling around behind my back?"

 


The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this
time!"

 


The 3th Affair:


 


A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her
husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the
corner."

 


She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him
with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said.
"Pretend you're a statue."

 


"What's this?" the husband inquired as he
entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The
Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

 


No more was said, not even when they went to bed.


Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen
and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

 


"Here," he said to the statue, "have
this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a
damned thing."

 


The 4th Affair:


 


A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered
a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."


 


"One Cent?" the man thought.


He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for
a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"

 


"A nickel," the barman replied.


"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"

 


The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my
wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with
your wife?"

 


The bartender replied,


"The same thing I'm doing to his business down
here."

 


The 5th Affair:


 


Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.


He looked up and said weakly, "I have something
I must confess."

 


"There's no need to," his wife replied.


"No," he insisted, "I want to die in
peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your
mother!"

 


"I know, I know," she replied. "Now
just rest and let the poison work."

















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