Hi all, Since this is halloween I thought I would approve and send out a few haloween one liners for some fun to break up the day to day grind. Enjoy. Please, no replies on list. Just read only. Thanks.
Q: Why did the vampire go to thee orthodontist? A: To improve his bite... Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? A: Frostbite... Q: Why do witches use brooms to fly on? A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy... Q: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? A: With scare spray... Q: What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A: A fur coat that fangs around your neck... Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? A: No, they eat the fingers separately... Q: Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town? A: Because they don't have any body to go out with... Q: What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? A: Booberries... Q: What is a vampire's favorite sport? A: Casketball... Q: What is a vampire's favorite holiday? A: Fangsgiving... Q: What would a monster's psychiatrist be called? A: Shrinkenstein... Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost? A: "Do you believe in people?" Q: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A: A cereal killer... Q: Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? A: They're so wrapped up in themselves... Q: What kind of streets do zombies like the best? A: Dead ends... Q: What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? A: Fasten your sheet belts... Q: What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation? A: A blood vessel... Q: What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation? A: A scareplane... Q: What type of dog do vampire's like the best? A: Bloodhounds... Q: What is a ghoul's favorite flavor? A: Lemon-slime... Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A: A stake sandwich... Q: What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument? A: A trombone... Q: What do birds say on Halloween night? A: Trick or Tweet... Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash? A: They have bat breath... Q: What's a vampire's favorite fast food? A: A guy with very high blood pressure... Q: Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal? A: He heard it had great circulation... Q: How did the skull win the race? A: It was head of the rest. Q: What does a Zombie keep in his bath room? A: Head and shoulders. Q: Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? A: It had no guts. Q: What do monsters like to eat at a cook out? A: Halloweeners. Q: What is a vampires favorite kind of coffee? A: Decoffinated. Q: What does a ghost get when it falls down? A: A boo boo. Q: What is a baby ghosts favorite game? A: Peekaboo. Q: What did the mother ghost say to the child ghost? A: Don't spook until spooken to. Q: What is a ghosts favorite kind of car? A: A Booick. Q: Did you hear about the zombie boy who was expelled from school? A: He was trying to butter up the teacher. Q: What does a zombie get when he comes home late for dinner? A: The cold shoulder. Q: What do little monsters call their parents? A: Mummy and deady. Q: How do monsters tell the future? A: They read their horrorscopes. Q: Why was the vampire not working? A: He was taking his coffinbreak. Q: What is a skeletons favorite song? A: Shake rattle and roll. Q: What is a ghosts favorite kind of pants? A: Boojeans. Q: What does a ghost like to ride at the local amusement park? A: The roller ghoster. Q: Why did the ghost pick his nose? A: Because he had boogers. Q: Where ghosts like to buy their sheets? A: Bootiques. Q: What did the three vampires order at the bar? A: Two bloods and a blood light... Halloween horror jokes Q: What do you give a vampire with a cold? A: Coffindrops. Q: What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern? A: A pumpkin patch. Q: What kind of shoes do ghosts from Texas wear? A: Boots. Q: Why did the Cyclops have to close his school? A: He only had one pupil. Q: Why isn't the vampire invited to many Halloween parties? A: Because he's a pain in the neck. Q: Who is a skeleton's favorite emperor? A: Napoleon Boneaparte. Q: Why did the vampires cancel their baseball game? A: They couldn't find their bats. Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin pi. Q: Which monster likes to fly kites in the rain? A: Benjamin Franklinstein. Q: What did the skeleton say to the bartender? A: I'll have two beers and a mop. Q: What did the mummy say to the detective? A: Let's wrap this case up. Q: Why was the witch kicked out of witching school? A: Because she flunked spelling. Q: When a witch lands after flying, where does she park? A: The broom closet. Q: Where was satan's son born ? A: Deathlehem. Q: Why can't skeletons play music in church? A: Because they have no organs. Q: How do you tell twin witches apart? A: You can't tell which which is which. --- Gamers mailing list __ [email protected] If you want to leave the list, send E-mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] You can make changes or update your subscription via the web, at http://audyssey.org/mailman/listinfo/gamers_audyssey.org. All messages are archived and can be searched and read at http://www.mail-archive.com/[EMAIL PROTECTED] If you have any questions or concerns regarding the management of the list, please send E-mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
