Some of Phil's suggestions sounded very serious; some of them, I hope, were
supposed to be jokes. With that in mind I propose my own step-by-step guide
for making mainstream games accessible in the current environment/market.
Feel free to take it as seriously as you like, and definitely send
audio/video.

1. Locate a large concrete/brick wall. This may be the side of a commercial
building or it may be a retaining wall. The Russian stage from Street
Fighter II is also acceptable. Don't think too hard about it, as rather than
location, the wall is the important part.

2. before carrying on with the plan, insure that your head is entirely free
from cover. The more zealous of you may wish to shave your scalp to insure
maximum ... um ... impact. Feel free to be artistic! You may be inspired to
tattoo your skull with phrases such as "1up for accessibility" or "Game
inaccessibility? FATALITY!" If you must wear a head covering, the only
permissible article is Mario's red hat.

3. Stand several feet back from the wall in question. If you are athletic,
you may wish to give yourself more running room.

4. Approach the wall at a high rate of speed, making sure to lower your head
as you reach your destination. It is important to note that no effort must
be made to halt your progress before a collision occurs. Again, feel free to
be artistic. Scream the theme to Mario Brothers as you approach. Make the
sound of Sonic the hedgehog powering up for his sprint. Perform a Megaman
style slide into the wall.

5. Repeat until you are convinced you have made mainstream games accessible.
You are permitted to use as many continues as you deem appropriate.

Good luck to everyone out there!

Ryan


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Phil Vlasak" <p...@pcsgames.net>
To: "Gamers Discussion list" <gamers@audyssey.org>
Sent: Sunday, August 16, 2009 6:25 PM
Subject: [Audyssey] Top ten ways to get mainstream game accessibility


> Top ten ways to get mainstream game accessibility
> 10. Organize all the guide dog owners in the country to visit mainstream 
> game company headquarters and have their dogs poop on the floor.
> 9. Kidnap the children of mainstream game company  executives and hold 
> them ransom until their games are Accessible.
> 8. Picket mainstream game company  headquarters with Braille signs saying 
> that they are discriminating to the blind.
> 7. Have every blind person in the world learn computer programming and 
> require them to debug a line of game code before they can read an audio 
> book.
> 6. Start a charity, National Association of Accessible Games, and get 
> people to donate millions of dollars, then hire sighted programmers to 
> develop accessible games.
> 5. Get all colleges to add a class of Accessible game development to all 
> computer programming courses.
> 4. Get the NFB and ACB to protest that there are not enough mainstream 
> game accessibility.
> 3. Petition Stevie Wonder to be the spokesperson for mainstream game 
> accessibility.
> 2. Get all blind people to send a dollar to Thomas Ward so he can finish 
> his accessible game engine.
>
> And the top way to get mainstream game accessibility,
> Visit the homes of mainstream game  company executives and poke their eyes

> out.
>
>
>
>
> ---
> Gamers mailing list __ Gamers@audyssey.org
> If you want to leave the list, send E-mail to 
> gamers-unsubscr...@audyssey.org.
> You can make changes or update your subscription via the web, at
> http://audyssey.org/mailman/listinfo/gamers_audyssey.org.
> All messages are archived and can be searched and read at
> http://www.mail-archive.com/gam...@audyssey.org.
> If you have any questions or concerns regarding the management of the 
> list,
> please send E-mail to gamers-ow...@audyssey.org.
>
> __________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus 
> signature database 4340 (20090816) __________
>
> The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>
> http://www.eset.com
>
>
> 


__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature
database 4340 (20090816) __________

The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.

http://www.eset.com




---
Gamers mailing list __ Gamers@audyssey.org
If you want to leave the list, send E-mail to
gamers-unsubscr...@audyssey.org.
You can make changes or update your subscription via the web, at
http://audyssey.org/mailman/listinfo/gamers_audyssey.org.
All messages are archived and can be searched and read at
http://www.mail-archive.com/gam...@audyssey.org.
If you have any questions or concerns regarding the management of the list,
please send E-mail to gamers-ow...@audyssey.org.


---
Gamers mailing list __ Gamers@audyssey.org
If you want to leave the list, send E-mail to gamers-unsubscr...@audyssey.org.
You can make changes or update your subscription via the web, at
http://audyssey.org/mailman/listinfo/gamers_audyssey.org.
All messages are archived and can be searched and read at
http://www.mail-archive.com/gam...@audyssey.org.
If you have any questions or concerns regarding the management of the list,
please send E-mail to gamers-ow...@audyssey.org.

Reply via email to