At least Bill doesn't have to worry about getting a sports writer job that he couldn't refuse and having to move to another city!
What is he doing/thinking?
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Subject: [gatornews] [Examiner.com] The NSE 2009 College Football
Preseason Final Poll
From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
Date: Fri, August 14, 2009 10:29 am
To: [email protected]
[Reporter's Note: This article is a bit asinine...like the author concedes! [said like a perfect smellinole!]]
The NSE 2009 College Football Preseason Final Poll
I truly hate these things. I cannot stand the idea of breaking teams out in a ranking before the first game is ever played. It seems wrong to me on many, many levels. But, I have already harped about my issues with the BCS and my issues with the way that preseason rankings affect the outcome of the final polls in any given football season. Look at this and this if you have the stomach to read more than one of my pieces in a twenty four hour period.The coach’s poll is in and you can see that here. Six of the usual suspects are in the Top Ten, which is not too surprising at all. What is surprising is that this year, they, (the coach's) gave the top four slots to usual suspects. Shoot, most years, they at least try and throw someone like Georgia or Michigan in there to make you think that someone else has a chance. What they have done this year is to virtually ensure that USC, Florida, Texas or Oklahoma will win the whole enchilada.OK, scratch Oklahoma…Bob Stoops and the boys haven’t been able to win a BCS bowl game in years…but that doesn’t stop the BCS from giving them the opportunity.So, instead of giving you a preseason top twenty, I am going to try and figure out what the polls might, (and the operative word here is might),look like at the end of the 2009 college football season. We are going to try to read the future and give you a preveiw if what it may look like after all of the twists and turns of a college football season have played out.Note: I didn’t even try to match the teams up with the bowl game that their conference champion plays in, so please, save me that ball of crap in your comments.I just hope that you have read the previous paragraph and understand the position of this article before calling down the fires of hell upon me because I don’t have the Florida Gators ranked number one.I just figured that if the coaches and other writers could decide who the best teams in the land were before the first game has been played, that I could prognosticate the end of the season at the same time. It makes just as much sense, doesn’t it???So, here is your Preseason Final Football Poll for 2009.1) Florida State – We knew that FSU might be good this year, but we had no idea how good. In Bobby Bowden’s last year at the helm in Tallahassee, the Seminoles ran the table in the ACC Atlantic Division, beat North Carolina in the ACC Championship game and absolutely destroyed Oklahoma in the National Championship game. It looks like FSU football is back. (If you believe this, then you are a bigger FSU homer than I am. This was put in along with the TCU beating of WVU comment in the #2 ranking to bust my buddy Ben’s chops. However, it is expected that anyone that plays Oklahoma in a BCS game should win….same thing goes for Ohio State)2) TCU – We couldn’t keep ignoring them forever…and they and Penn State are the only other undefeated teams in the land, so for the second year in a row, we hand the booby prize to a team from the Mountain West. Congratulations TCU on your Fiesta Bowl win over West Virginia. We (The BCS) wanted to get TCU some real competition, but we’re locked into this “We have to invite certain conference champions to the big bowl games thing”. Our bad.3) Penn State – Despite playing in the Big Ten and having a soft out of conference schedule, we feel obligated to rank Penn State this high. After all, they did beat USC in the Rose Bowl and PSU is the NSE’s Dad’s alma mater.4) North Carolina – Butch Davis surprised everyone this year. We knew that he had a good team, but we didn’t expect the Tar Heels to run the board in the ACC Coastal, only losing twice, (to Florida State both times, once in the regular season and once in the ACC championship game), and then to slap Ole Miss around in the Orange Bowl.5) Oklahoma – It is a law that the Sooners have to finish in the top five in the final polls every year. Even if it is a completely fictitious poll. If you do a final poll and don’t rank them in the top five, Bob Stoops sends his Regulators to your house and you have to revise the poll at gunpoint. (OK, I made the Regulators thing up)6) Florida- Like them or not, the Gators are the team of the naughts, the zero zero’s, the double nuts, or whatever it is that you want to call this decade…too bad that they had to lose the last game of the year to FSU, before destroying Ole Miss in the SEC Championship game and rolling over Texas in the Sugar Bowl.7) Utah – With their only loss this season to TCU, the Utes seem to be taking their place as a national powerhouse. Move over Florida, Ohio State, LSU, Texas and USC. Utah will be one of the favored children in 2010.8) Boise State – Even though they did beat Oregon and ran the table to finish undefeated and won the JackArute.Com bowl…we still have no respect for Boise State and refuse to rank them any higher than this.9) Ole Miss – Almost had it made…Almost ran the table….That is until the Gators exacted their revenge for 2008 in the SEC Championship game, followed by UNC giving them a taste of the whip in the Orange Bowl.10) USC – If they could actually beat Oregon State, this ranking may have been higher. Losing to Penn State in the Rose Bowl didn’t really help either.11) Georgia Tech – Who says that the triple option is an antiquated offense??? If it weren’t for North Carolina, the Ramblin’ Wreck would have been in the ACC championship game this year.12) Texas – Looked good in everything except the Red River Rivalry and the Sugar Bowl. It’s OK though; the Longhorns will be in the 2010 preseason top five, along with the other usual suspects, so that they can have another shot.13) Alabama – Nick Saban’s crew had a down year in 2009, but they will be back and in the hunt next year, so will Les Miles and LSU….Not so much for Houston Nutt and Ole Miss.14) Georigia – After beating up on Ohio State in the Citrus Bowl, the Bulldogs and Mark Richt look to 2010, when the coach’s should have them near the top of the preseason rankings again.15) Ohio State- Like Oklahoma, you can only rank the Buckeyes so low. Captain Sweater Vest doesn’t get upset, but the legion of OSU alumni and sidewalk alumni do. OSU can be no lower than fifteen at the end of the year. No lower than eight in the preseason polls.16) California – It is also a law that at least one team other than USC from the PAC-10 has to be ranked in the top twenty.17) Oklahoma State – if the Cowboys didn’t play in the same division of the Big 12 that two of the BCS’s favorite children, (Texas and Oklahoma), play in, then they might actually challenge for a national title, but alas, when you play in the Big 12 South, you WILL lose to Oklahoma and Texas. It is in the conference by laws. Just ask Texas Tech…they beat Texas in 2008 and their coach, Mike Leach was almost dismissed for the effrontery. (OK, I made the Mike Leach thing up)18) Virginia Tech – I tried to be nice when I previewed them for the ACC series, but a few of their fans were complete jack asses, so I thought that I’d take this opportunity to point out that the Hokies have no passing game, none, zip, zilch, bupkis….and a team that is one dimensional is not going to challenge for a conference crown, much less a national title.19) Kansas – Someone has to win the Big 12 North…right????20) LSU – I just couldn’t think of any other team to put into this slot.So there you have it. My twisted and perverted view of what the polls might look like at the end of the 2009 College Football season. Sadly, there are actually people that take these preseason polls seriously. Even more sadly, some of the people that have to take this crap seriously are the folks that write the software for the BCS computers.How about we just have a playoff, so that neither I, nor anyone else ever has a reason to do something as silly and asinine as a preseason poll again???
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