***adult language below delete if adult language offends you*** UGA accused of pumping artificial crowd literacy into Sanford Stadium
Credit: ESPN The NCAA announced today that they are launching an investigation into allegations that the University of Georgia has been pumping artificial crowd literacy into Sanford Stadium on game days. The investigation was prompted after numerous opposition players and coaches reported that they could actually understand the insults being hurled at them from the stands. The following is an excerpt from the official NCAA report released earlier today: "In accordance with Article 19 of the Division I Charter, the National Collegiate Athletics Association hereby opens an investigation into the allegations made against the University (sic) of Georgia that artificial crowd literacy has been pumped into Sanford Stadium on game days with the express purpose of attempting to portray fans of U(sic)GA as anything other than the drooling dumbasses* that we all know they are. *The term ‘drooling dumbasses’ is officially defined in the NCAA Labels and Titles HandbookⓇ, specifically in Section 2.5c “SEC Students and Fans." See also: 'Walmart Fans.'" The allegations were made based on a number of instances of suspiciously literate behavior witnessed by several firsthand observers. These alleged instances of literacy include, but are not limited to, the following: November 26, 2016 - Georgia Tech @ u(sic)GA: Several Georgia Tech coaches reported hearing insults that didn’t use double negatives - instead of the typical “Y’all ain’t nothing!”, they reported hearing “Your team is not anything to concern ourselves with!” September 23, 2017 - Mississippi State @ u(sic)GA: Several opposition fans were instantly suspicious when they spotted signs that bothered to use the entire word “Mississippi,” a word that is considered three syllables too long for the average u(sic)GA fan. October 14, 2017 - Missouri @ u(sic)GA: Missouri fans viewing the game on t.v. were immediately concerned when they saw the following image on their displays: University (sic) of Georgia officials have already responded with a statement of their own: “We do not agree with the investigashun, but are ready to comply with the NCAA. We are sure we will be eckson... ecxonn-... exxoom-… we will be cleared of all bad-doing.” Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The views above do not reflect those of the Georgia Institute of Technology. We are in no way suggesting that U(sic)GA fans or students are illiterate.* *For U(sic)GA fans and students: il·lit·er·ate i(l)ˈlidərət/ adjective 1. Unable to read or write. o ignorant in a particular subject or activity. o uncultured or poorly educated. The Crouton Anytime you get retweeted, it's important to stay #humblehttps://t.co/VuOdHdIhRQ 16 hours ago The Crouton Let's get Hate Week started off right #THWghttps://t.co/kgHQVfrmp2https://t.co/RHnBwANG6O 22 hours ago The Crouton Peak Bromabam-Broden relations: tweeting a meme of yourselves to commemorate @JoeBiden 's birthday. https://t.co/ur7QBisMAh 23 hours ago The Crouton #Thanksgiving: when we commemorate that time we came together with the natives for the purposes of peace and harmon… https://t.co/OQ2WKkJvQm 23 hours ago The Crouton The roof caved in today #FireTedRoof #GTvsDuke 3 days ago November 20, 2017 9680 NEXT Mini-500 results nullified after entire field found to be doping DISCLAIMER: EVERYTHING PUBLISHED ON THIS SITE IS COMPLETELY SATIRICAL AND IN NO WAY REFLECTS THE VIEWS OF THE GEORGIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY. IF YOU STRUGGLE TO DISTINGUISH WHAT IS WRITTEN HERE FROM ACTUAL NEWS, WE RECOMMEND YOU SEE AN OPTICIAN. ABOUTCONTACTFAQ Powered by Squarespace Oliver Barry CRS, GRI Real Estate Broker PARKS Real Estate Services 305 B Indian Lake Blvd Suite 220 Hendersonville TN 37075 Office: 615-826-4040 Mobile: 615-972-4239 bar...@realtracs.com -- -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "GatorTalk" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to gatortalk+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
