Just buddies: Why gals like guy friends
Asmita Aggarwal
August 6


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“Look at what she’s wearing! I can see her breasts popping out.” This sort of conversation between two women — passing nasty remarks about a third — is not uncommon. Many people genuinely believe women take great pleasure in finding faults with other women.

Is this the reason why so many women prefer men as buddies — like Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex And The City, who always confides in her gay best friend played by Willie Garson? Garson told imdb.com that he shared a similar rapport with Parker in real life: “We’ve been dear friends for 20 years and she does like to talk. Obviously I don’t ask her about guys — I’m not gay! But she advises me on girls.”

In the controversial book Women’s Inhumanity To Women, Phyllis Chesler explains why men are easier to deal with: “In school, girls are taught that girls are capable of being mean, they gossip and slander. They isolate other women.” Remember, it was a woman, Linda Tripp, who spilled the beans on Monica Lewinsky’s affair with Bill Clinton. Monica had trusted Linda and confided in her!
In Trilogy Of Women, Gloria D. Tillis Jones says: “Women have it hard enough without being down on each other, suspicious, jealous and backstabbing… if women are plagued with problems, whom can they trust?”

That’s the reason, V.J. Anusha says, she has more male friends: “You can trust them. Women are more likely to betray your trust.” B4U V.J. Gauhar Khan feels men are more patient and understanding. “Plus they aren’t competing with you over looks, career or clothes. Women are more prone to jealousy. Female friends have often backstabbed me,” she says.

Smriti Z. Irrani married her best friend’s husband Zubin who, she claims, was her friend. It was his easy-going attitude that she found attractive. “It’s easier to strike friendship with a man, the comfort level is higher,” she affirms.

It’s often said that women are always checking out other women and constantly tend to find faults in them. Schopenheur said: “Men by nature are indifferent to one another, but women are by nature enemies.”

Many women will agree. They will tell you that men do make better soulmates than women. There could, of course, be another view

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Olympic champion Thorpe chases his own destiny
Julian Linden (Reuters)
Sydney, August 6

A brush with death convinced Ian Thorpe his chosen path to Olympic immortality was futile.

Like every other swimming prodigy of the past three decades, Thorpe's achievements are measured against those of Mark Spitz, the American who won a record seven gold medals at the 1972 Munich Games.

When Thorpe won three gold and two silver medals as a 17-year-old at the Sydney Olympics, his destiny seemed assured.

The Australian took the bait and started to prepare himself for a crack at the magnificent seven. The early signs were promising.

He won six gold medals at the 2001 world championships in Japan but the events of September 11 suddenly reshaped his thinking.

Thorpe was holidaying in New York that day and was on his way to the World Trade Center when the first hijacked plane struck the twin towers.

The harrowing experience made him reassess his priorities and he vowed not to waste another day of his life. After finishing with six golds at the Commonwealth Games a year later, Thorpe abandoned his quest of pursuing Spitz.

"It's not me," Thorpe said. "I'm not doing something to have accolades or the recognition."

Thorpe's success in Sydney had already made him rich beyond his dreams but it came at a high price. He is a national hero in Australia but cannot lead a normal life.

He is mobbed by fans every time he walks down the street and his every move is scrutinised by the media and public. Earlier this year, he was moved to address rumours about his sexuality after Sydney's gay community adopted him as an icon.

For the record, he said he was not homosexual but was flattered by the description.

Thorpe's decision not to chase Spitz's record not only lifted the pressure from him, but also helped him to clear his mind. He had begun to tire of the grind of training and needed fresh inspiration if he was to create his own legacy.

He found it in Tracey Menzies, his former high school art teacher, who was appointed as his coach after he split with his long-time coach Doug Frost.

Menzies encouraged Thorpe to explore life outside the pool and he took her advice, meeting presidents and queens, the rich and the poor, embracing his passion for fashion and developing his own range of underwear.

"If I didn't have a coach like Tracey, I wouldn't be swimming," Thorpe said.

Menzies has revamped Thorpe's training techniques and is convinced her methods will improve his speed and increase his chances of more Olympic gold in Athens but not everyone is convinced.

Once a serial record breaker, Thorpe has not set a world mark for two years and critics point the finger at Menzies.

She was blamed when Thorpe slipped off the blocks and was disqualified for a false start during the heats of the 400 metres freestyle at the Australian Olympic trials.

Thorpe lost an appeal against his disqualification but was thrown an unexpected lifeline a month later when his friend Craig Stevens, who had finished second at the trials, gave up his spot in the 400 to concentrate on his other events.

Thorpe had already qualified for the 100 and 200 freestyle as well as the three relays but the 400 is his favourite event and his disqualification became a national saga.

He has not been beaten over the distance for seven years, winning his first world title as a 15-year-old in 1998, and is considered a near certainty to win gold in Athens.

His reinstatement in the 400 means Thorpe will swim six events at Athens, one short of Spitz, but enough for him to still create his own slice of history.

No-one has ever won the 100, 200 and 400 treble at the Olympics but the 21-year-old Thorpe believes he has a great chance. Thorpe is the world record holder and world champion for 200 and 400 and was a close third in the 100 at last year's world titles.

Australia are favourites to win the 4x200 and also hold strong prospects in the other two men's relays, giving Thorpe a real shot of picking up six medals to take his overall tally to 11.

Spitz also won 11 medals in his career in his two appearances at the Olympics but if everything goes according to plan Thorpe will be swimming at a third Olympics in Beijing in 2008, setting a new standard to fulfill his own destiny.

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Washington court rules in favor of gay marriage
Reed Stevenson (Reuters)
Seattle, August 5

A trial judge in Washington state ruled on Wednesday that same-sex marriages were legal, but he stayed his decision so the issue could be decided by the state's Supreme Court.

Gay marriage advocates hailed the decision as a big step toward wider acceptance of legally recognized unions between couples of the same sex, both in the state and the country.

Lambda Legal senior attorney Jennifer Pizer, who led the lawsuit on behalf of eight gay couples, applauded the decision by King County Superior Court Judge William Downing, which declared that a state law limiting marriage to men and women was unconstitutional.

"We all knew when this case began that the trial court is the first step," Pizer told reporters.

In his ruling, Judge Downing said state law was unconstitutional because "the privilege of civil marriage and the various privileges conferred by that status are not being made equally available to all citizens."

Washington state law gives counties sole authority to issue marriage licenses and explicitly limits marriage to "a civil contract between a male and female." The plaintiffs filed their lawsuit against Seattle's King County earlier this year in order to overturn the ban on same-sex marriage.

Joseph Fuiten, the president of Washington Evangelicals for Responsible Government denounced the ruling, calling it "one more illustration of judicial tyranny."

"I'm stunned," said Fuiten, who is also a pastor at a local church. The judge "is just inventing law. Marriage between homosexuals is not a natural right."

The judge, as well both sides in the case, urged the state's Supreme Court to take up the case quickly so that a final decision could be delivered within months.

Support for allowing gay weddings, including moves in California, New York state, New Jersey, New Mexico and Massachusetts, has touched off a vigorous national debate and spurred President George W. Bush to call for a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.

Missouri voters on Tuesday approved a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriages, making it the first in the country since a Massachusetts court decision last year set the stage for challenges to such unions.

In Oregon, more than 3,000 same-sex couples flocked to Portland's Multnomah County offices after it began issuing marriage licenses in March. Since then, marriages have been put on hold while a lawsuit works it way to the Supreme Court and opponents are readying a November ballot measure that would rewrite the state's constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman.

Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels recently ordered the city government to recognize gay marriages performed in other states.

A measure by Bush to ban same-sex marriage was blocked by the the U.S. Senate last month, effectively shelving the issued for at least this election year.

 
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