This email about sexual orientation change reminds me my own personal experiences.
A section of mental health professionals still believe all this stuff about changing ..etc. An awful but yet funny incident i would like to quote is- i was undergoing this kind of electric shock diversion therapy (when i was still in college and was forced to do so by family)..They used to tie a band over my wrist, and show me the erotic nude pics(mmmm the shrink had a good collection though !!!) of men and would ask me how i feel.The moment i used to express my feelings, the doctor used to press a button and an electric wave would pass up my arm. I would scream in pain.. I hated the feeling and the pain. The moment i used to come out of the clinic, i used to see some guys from a nearby college i used to get aroused instantly... (lolzz)..I used to partially escape these electric shocks by not telling anything when he used to show me the pics.. But the shrink was smart and probably guessed it,he wanted to try hypnotization. Infact he could not hypnotize me either..We spent quite a lot of money n time on this all crap. At this time i just told my parents "that i have become allright" to escape from these tortures..Later i met very nice and helpful doctors at NIMHANS in blore,who rightly helped me to realize about the pros/cons of being gay.I chose to be comfortable with wat i am. Actually in practice wat they do is they try to control one's sexual feelings by various therapies like mild shock treatments,counselling, behavourial change therapies ..etc ..etc But i guess most of modern psychiatrists would not do it unless someone is feeling very bad about his sexuality (case quoted below).. I have also heard bad examples of some quack (i call them so) doctors who put u on some medications ...etc. So please take care of tat !!. But often the success rate is very low..From my own personal experience i think it is waste of time and money to try all tat.Better and easier option is to get comfortable with one's sexuality (bi,gay or straight).As the doctor himself has said below,being gay or straight is beyond one's control. If the stmt of this doctor about changing is correct, it should also be possible to change heterosexuals into homosexuals... Dear friend some of the questions(maybe the docs will ask u same !!,sorry if some of them sound offending ) you should ask yourself before going into such a treatment 1. How strong are your feelings(sexual/emotional) for men? 2. Are they purely sexual or do you tend to emotionally bind them also? 3. For how long have you been experiencing such feelings for men? how many times have you had sex with men and to wat extent ? 4. Why do you feel bad about it , i mean is it very thought of it, is it because of your marriage or social/family reasons?? 5. If given a chance to choose altogether (forget for a moment ur married ) whom would u choose a man/woman. 6. Are you currently in any emotional relationship with a man? 7.Was your first sexual experience voluntary or kind of imposed on or situtations in which it happened. Wat did you exactly feel after that ? Although you should get medical advice,in my opinion,your responses to these questions will determine your 'intensity towards men'. In your case,it is quite tricky because you really donot want to cheat your wife by being infidile.Discuss with doctors who are not too biased and choose wat you want. At best they can enable you to control your sexual urges towards men better by all diversion therapies but they cannot completely eliminate it. Regds Prash pest quest <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: hi in the magazine 'new woman'nov.04 issue, under the caption'intimacy issues' there was a question whether gays are born gay or they become gay due to some reason. i am quoting the reply given by one dr. rajan bhonsle a consulting sex therapist & counsellor: no one is born gay or homosexual. homosexuality is a result of an unconscious choice that a person makes during his growing years, due to various known & unknown factors, often beyond the conscious control of the person. it is an unfortunate 'result' of various factors such as basic personality 'type', uncensored exposure to sex, dysfunction in the family, inappropriate parental influence, lack of correct & value based sex education, experience of direct or indirect child abuse, etc. however if a person 'truly' wishes to change his/her sexual orientation at any age 'willingly', it is possible to help him. but imposing this change will not help! his self ' motivation'plays a major role in the treatment. i am a married person, having come to know about my sexual orientation after marriage. now my wife knows and we are both undergoing deep mental torture. i would like to 'change' 'willingly' as the doctor puts it, especially because it will rid me of the trauma of cheating on my wife. i would appreciate guidance from the moderators & other members of the group. ------------------------ Yahoo! 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