Even me had the same reaction on reading them first time!! My Gosh imagine the
state of St.Peters .....!! poor guy must have himself been maroooned up!!
Let me see if I have some more of these in store..........
Sahil.
K-Y Jelly <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Sahil...(falling about and convulsing with laughter), those were really classic
ones...thanks for sending them in...The best were the bear and rabbit one and
the nuns one...hahaha...there's a mention of fingers, hands, mouth, the
backside in the latter and I can only imagine what would St Peter have done if
a nun had to consecrate her ...ahem... you know what I mean...!!
Sahil Khan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn`t like each
other very
much. One day, while walking through the woods, and
they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when
the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that
he didn`t often meet anyone, but, when he did, he
always gave them six wishes. He told them that they
could have 3 wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears
in the forest were females.
The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking
for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared
immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit`s wish, but carried
on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears
in the neighboring forests were females as well, and
the frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared
before him, and he climbed on board and started
revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr.
Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had
for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final
wish, that all the other bears in the world were
females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in
the world.
The frog replied that it had been done, and they both
turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second,
then said, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode
off as fast as he could!
A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The
assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.
"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm
sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only
$15.
"Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks.
"Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a
brothel and as a result its language is a touch
fruity"
"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her
mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having
a profane parrot".
So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home.
Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around
and squawks at the woman, "Fuck me, a fucking new
brothel and a fucking new madam"
"I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel," says the
woman indignantly, but she sees the funny side and
let's it drop.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters
arrive home.
"A new brothel, a new madam, and now new fucking
prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the
daughters.
"Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not
prostitutes," complain the girls, but they all see the
funny side and have at laugh at their filthy new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home.
"Well fuck me, a new brothel, a new madam, new fucking
whores, but the same old clients. How are you doing,
George?" says the parrot.
A mouse was setting in a bar having a drink when a
beautiful giraffe came in and sat down at the end of
the bar.
The mouse looked over at her and ordered her a drink.
Soon he had moved down beside her and ordered her
another drink.
After a third round, the bartender looked up and they
were leaving the bar together.
The next day the mouse limped into the bar, barely
crawled up on the barstool and sat there gasping for
air. His whiskers were bent and broken, tail was
crooked and patches of hair were falling out.
The bartender took one look and said, "How did it go
last night?"
The mouse said, "Man, that was the best sex I ever
had."
The bartender asked, "Why do you look so bad?"
The mouse replied, "Hey, between the kissing and the
screwing I must have run 10 miles!"
There`s a queue of nuns waiting to go into heaven and
St. Peter is at the front of the queue with a bowl of
holy water. He says to the first nun; "Have you ever
had contact with a man`s penis?" The nun replies,
"Only with the tip of my finger."
"Then stick it in the holy water and pass into
heaven", replies St.Peter.
The next nun admits that`s she`s held a penis with her
right hand.
"Then dip your whole hand in the water and you may
pass through", replies Saint Peter.
Suddenly there`s some pushing in the queue and Sister
Joan appears at the front of the queue. "There`s no
rush", says St. Peter. "You`ll all get in, it`ll just
take a little time." he adds.
"Well St. Peter", replies Sister Joan, "if I`m going
to have to gargle that water I want to do it before
Sister Helen sticks her arse in it!"
~~S.A.H.I.L~~
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