Hi Ganesh,
I'm sorry you had to go through this sort of hell while having a HIV test done, but then I think everyone, no matter how safe they have been, goes through the same sort of tension while waiting for their HIV results. Its possible to even see this as having some value, since it makes you think about your sexual history and the importance of safe sex. What isn't good is if you're so worried about testing positive that you're considering jumping off the building. That's at least one reason not to go to Dr.Amin's testing centre in Tulsiani Centre which I assume is where you went, those multiple floors are probably too tempting! And the other reason is that, I'm guessing, like most other expensive 'upmarket' testing centres they don't bother giving you pre- test counselling. Pre-test counselling is simply a must. The testing centre must tell you a little bit (without unnecessary detail) about the test they will be doing, what the procedure is if the test is positive (if its an ELISA, they do a second confirmatory ELISA, and then a Western Blot test), and a little bit about what you should think of, if you test positive. And if you test positive, they have to give you post test counselling (I don't know if Amin's or any of the other centres do that since I don't know anyone who's tested positive through them. I guessing they don't). This is why you are far better off going to less fancy, but usually much cheaper (even free) and more focused testing centres for HIV. The Humsafar centre is obviously the best place for gay men to go where they know they can get unprejudiced and thorough testing. (Humsafar telephone number: 26673800/26650547). Sion Hospital also has an excellent centre (you have to ask for the skin OPD section), as do the Saadhan centres run by the PSI programme, whose numbers are in all the train ads. I recently went with a friend to one of the Saadhan centres and the experience was so good, I'm going to write a separate mail on it. Please note everyone that the ideal solution to not going through Ganesh's experience, apart from always having safe sex obviously, is regular testing so you don't get all worked about it, and going to a place with proper counselling. And please do NOT think that yout life is over if you test positive. More and more guys in the community are testing positive and while that's sad, they are also realising they can continue leading quite normal lives. As I said, your best source for information on these matters is the Humsafar centre. There are also excellent online sources like www.thebody.com and we are in the process of upgrading the info on GB about all this. In the next few weeks we will also be arranging with Counselling and Allied Services for AIDS (CASA), an excellent NGO that does work on HIV issues, to do a special session for GB on "Living with HIV/AIDS." (In case anyone wants to get in touch with CASA now their number is 24445647). So please watch out for that and attend, and the chances are that you won't ever have to go through the mental torture that Ganesh went through, Vikram --- In gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, "coffebeans2002" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > courtesy GB > =========== > > From: Ganesh Bhat <gayinbombay@> > HI Guys, > > Last week I went through hell, I had come for the film festival, in > one of the movies they show a guy who had tested HIV with lesions > all over the body. That scene snatched the earth out of my feet. > > I had a skin problem which had developed over a month and was > refusing to subside with the different medications my skin doctor > had given me. My Skin Doctor had told me it was an allergy caused > by one of the medicines I had earlier and will take its own time to > go. > > The movie jolted me into thinking that maybe I could be having HIV > and maybe I was infected. I was shivering in the theatre, my friend > sitting next to me also asked me what was wrong, why all of a sudden > I have gone quite. I kept quite telling him I had a headache. > > All sort of questions raced through my mind how could I be HIV > positive, even though very active and gone through 100 of sexual > partners I have always played it safe. > Where had I gone wrong ? > > What if I was really HIV positive ? > How will I tell my family and friends ? > What will I do with my life ? > > I could not sleep the whole night,next day I bunked work, my parents > asked me what was wrong, they know my gay > status luckily, I just told them I was not feeling well and wanted > to stay back. > > The whole morning it still went on and on in my mind, where did I go > wrong, I have not had sex without a condom, I have never gone oral > on anyone, the condom has never busted, I have never had sex > whenever I have got drunk, I do not do drugs,so how was it possible. > > That afternoon I went to a lab in Nariman Point, and after much > courage entered the lab. After giving a false name I got myself > tested, the test they did was ELISA. I went there at 1 pm and they > gave me the report at 5.30 pm. > > The wait was so agonising, I did not know what to do. Now I was > thinking what will I do if I was HIV positive. I contemplated > suicide and now the dilemma was how will I do it. I know for sure > and firmed myself up to jump from the 9 th floor of the building > where I took my test from. > > I finally went to get my report and luckily for me I turned out to > be HIV Negative. But guys it was hell to wait even for that 4.5 > hours for the results to come. HIV is not a joke but something > serious to be handled. The trauma a person goes through is terrible. > > Hearing about all these HIV deaths in Mumbai and the number of > people getting infected daily had scared me to death. And in those > two days I suffered on my own, even though I do have a lot of gay > activist friends I did not have the courage to talk to them. > > Guys please it your life, take care of it, do not throw it away just > for some pleasure which does not last also for a minute. > > regards > Ganesh ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Dying to be thin? Anorexia. Narrated by Julianne Moore . http://us.click.yahoo.com/FLQ_sC/gsnJAA/E2hLAA/WfTolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Group Site: http://www.gaybombay.info ========================== NEW CLASSIFIEDS SECTION SEEKING FRIENDS? VISIT www.gaybombay.info click on classified section and type your message in the post section once the link opens This message was posted to the gay_bombay Yahoo! Group. Responses to messages (by clicking "Reply") will also be posted on the eGroup and sent to all members. 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