g_b Jokeology

Sat, 14 May 2005 11:55:42 -0700 

Banta is sitting on a train across from a busty girl wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is
unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without
underwear.
The girl realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?"
"Yes, I'm sorry," replies Banta and promises to avert his eyes.
"It's quite alright," replies the girl, "It's very
 talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to
you."
Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. Banta, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder
pussy can do.
"I can also make it wink," says the girl. Banta stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him.
"Come and sit next to me," suggests the girl, patting the seat.
Banta moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
Stunned, Banta replies, "Can it whistle too?!"
*****************************************************************************************

 Little Johhny was sitting on the side walk with a small bottle of sulphuric acid, pouring drops on the ants as they crawled past.

A priest passing by saw this, and approached him.
"Good morning, young man. What
 are you doing with that little bottle?" he asked politely.
"I'm burning the ants with the acid," the boy replied.
Thinking that a bottle of acid was dangerous for a small boy to play with, the priest thought of how he
could persuade the boy
 to part with it.
"Listen son, I have a bottle of holy water here that you could put on the ants instead," said the priest.
"No way Father!" said Little Johnny, "I'd rather have this bottle."
"But mine is special holy water," replied the
 priest.
"Well, what's so special about it?" enquired Little Johnny.
"Ah," said the priest, "I once put a drop of this on a lady's belly and she passed a child."
"That's nothing!" exclaimed Johnny, "I once put a drop
 of this on a dog's testicles, and he passed a Harley
Davidson!!!"
****************************************************************
 Banta starts a new job, and the boss says, "If you marry my daughter, I`ll make you a partner, give you
an expense account, a Mercedes, and a million rupee annual salary."
Banta says, "What`s wrong with her?"
The boss shows him a picture, and she`s hideous. The boss says, "It`s only fair to tell you, she`s not only
ugly, she`s as dumb as a wall."
Banta says, "I don`t care what you offer me, it ain`t worth it."
The boss says, "I`ll give you a five million rupee salary and build you a
 mansion."
Banta accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.
About a year later, Banta buys an painting and he`s about to hang it on the wall. He climbs a ladder and
yells to his wife, Preeto"Bring me a
 hammer."
Preeto mumbles, "Get the hammer. Get the hammer," and she fetches the hammer.
Banta says, "Get me some nails."
She mumbles, "Get the nails. Get the nails," and she gets him some
 nails.
Banta starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and he yells, "Fuck!"
Preeto mumbles, "Get the bag. Get the bag."
*******************************************************************************
 A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door.
The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman`s
hat and has the wagon tied to a
 dog.
Fireman: "Hey, little boy. What are you doing?"
Little boy: "I`m pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look.
Fireman: "Little
 boy, that sure is a nice fire truck!"
Little boy: "Thanks, mister."
The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its
testicles.
Fireman:
 "Little boy, I don`t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope
around the dog`s neck I think you could go faster."
Little boy: "You`re probably right mister, but then I wouldn`t have a siren!"
**********************************************************************************
 A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents`
bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy
 making noise and when I look in you`re bouncing up and down on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh... well I`m bouncing on his stomach because he`s fat and that makes him thin again."
The boy says, "That won`t work."
His mom says, "Why?" The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and
blows him back up!"
***************************************************************************************
 One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and
the other boy couldn`t figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the
bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam.
All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn`t understand why he ran away so he
took off after his friend. Finally he caught up to him and asked why he ran
 away.
The boy said to his friend," My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt
something getting hard so I ran."
____________________________________________________________
 
 
 

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