g_b Freak, Frisk, Fright, Fantasy...

[ridgeet roy]

Freak     Ever felt bugged by that constant whining of a certain online entity ? or the constant pop up asking for sex inspite of telling him the last time that you were not interested ... or even that strange one who seems more interested in knowing your personal whereabouts... or worse, the sudden change in attitude...     Well, we all have different personalities... and naturally we tend to clash... but at times, even the most understanding and accomodating one of us tends to get irritated when faced with the so called net-freaks...      Unfortunately, I was no exception. Understanding as I was to the countless sexinvitations that tends to show up without asking, I too had my share of freak shots... and the latest one kept me puzzled...  
    If I had to describe the course of our chat history it would be in 3 different phases -      1 : Normal Sex Ad Kind (which lasted some 20 minutes)  2 : Intimate Deeper Understanding Kind (which lasted for a day)  3 : Disturbingly Admonishing and Coaxing to leave up Gay Life and not to fall        in love with another guy (going on for the past few days)     It so happens that till phase 2 the entire conversation was enjoyable; but it was surprising when the tone changed one night and became like a monologue asking myself to give up the dreams of falling in love and marrying a guy, even if it was acceptable and possible.      I was discussing the same
 with a friend, and was surprised to know that such weird cases are available in plenty. Wonder what drives such minds? Insecurity? fear? mental problems ?     Hard to know in this virtual world....     -----     Frisk     Well, its not that I was uncomfortable, but it did felt a bit awkward when the guy at the Mumbai airport frisked a little bit too much. I am no stranger to flying or being frisked at the airport, and handle myself quite well in such situation, but then this guy seemed to be a little bit more touchy ... Hmmm...     So my mind said, what was
 his life like? If he was gay (or even BI) imagine touching guys for a living... and a cautious brush against the privates will not even be frowned ... Its like straight out of some porno movie where the cop frisks to turn on ...      Not bad huh !!!     ------     Fright     As the Lucknow case in India sets alarms in the mind of several one of us, I wonder is this something we should get scared about. TOI seemed to have mentioned the name of guys4men.com, a online group I too happen to
 be a part of, and everywhere everyone seems to be talking about it...      Just the other day someone worriedly told me that after the case he has pulled down all his pictures from the sites. And several others definitely seems to have taken a cautious step in working out how much to reveal. Such incidents, if nothing else, drives a closeted gay more inside... and thus rules penal codes like 377...     Then, should decisions to settle in UK or Norway be the only solution?     ------     Fantasy 
    Some times some guys just seem to drive you nuts. And they are just so yummy and you wish you could just gobble them up. And whats worse, is that they linger around you all day, either in your mind, or in reality.     And such cute ones seems to be there always at one particular place. Either at work, or at gym, or at your local juice center (I know mine is) ... and whenever you go, he is there....     And you just long to see him again. The fun begins when he starts acknowledging your presence and smiles back... like my juice center boy gives me the cutest smile and the innocent confused look; And lo and
 behold... you have a crush ...     And fantasies thus knows no bound.     ------     Dedicated to those who faced the cruelty of homophobia     Rij
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