Hi Ketan,

The following post of mine never appeared - can u please look into it and allow it to appear ? Thanks in advance !

Cheers
Salil

Salil <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2006 23:09:59 +0000 (GMT)
From: Salil <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: g_b BBM
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com


Hi asfan,

Let us not trivialise the topic. The criticism is not of married gay men. The ciriticism is of anyone who advises undecided single gay men to go in for a heterosexual marriage rather than resisting it. The criticism is sharper if the advice comes from a married gay man - because he should not be asking others to follow him in the mistake he has already done. The mistake being the intentional premeditated life-long fraud that he has played on the bride - again it is important to understand that there is no criticism of gay men who have got married and realise the mistake. The sharp criticism is for those who find it acceptable to live the lie for completely selfish reasons and then ad insult to injury by calling it a loving relationship. The two common refrains are 1) she doesnt notice i am gay because i love her tenderly (though she wud have got better sex from a straight guy) (which implies that fraud is ok as long as it is not found out) and 2) i had to please my conservative parents towards whom i have a duty (which implies that sacrificing the girl's life is ok as long as one gets to be in the good books of the parents).

Only the most extreme of us have displayed any hate for married gay men in general - you can call that subset goody two shoes. The rest of us are simply saying - if u r living a lie, please consider coming out of it - if you cant, best of luck with it, but in any case please dont ask more gay men to cheat a girl each for life.

cheers
salil


asfan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
  I have just seen BBM (first day, first show) and thought it to be a good, sensitively made movie.  BUT, it concerns two gay cowboys who marry and then cheat on their wives.
 
In view of the recent brickbats being thrown at married gays on the GB and G_B sites by the goody two-shoes, I do hope they voice the same concern and condemn the movie.
Otherwise, it will show up their hypocrisy.  
 
About a year or so ago I had posted on the site that it would be best to leave the married gays  alone – they are old enough to know what they are doing.  I had also written that given the opportunity the same “goodys” wouldn’t bat an eyelash at having a roll in the hay with them.
I am sure this is going to raise the Irish in  quite a few but the truth always hurts.
Asfan.




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