Hi Karwan,
There still are some of us white guys who think darker men are da bomb. Their
features and color are loved and admired. Sounds like reverse racism but I only
look at personals for Asians South and East and Latinos, your're among the
handsomest men around.
Veno
karwan khursheed <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
You are absolutely right! Here in Duabi, its the same like britain.
I am from delhi working in Dubai for last two years. The first question they
will ask you is whats your nationality?
When you will say I am Indian. they will say sorry I am not into asian.
sometimes no reply.
I noticed it many times. Condition of Indian gays specially who are dark
skin is very bad. They are most of the time neglected.
Sometimes I taught them a lesson. The same guy who didnt chat with me knowing
me Indian, chatted with me knowing that I am European. I made my id as
27-Eurpopean in mirc and I got the reply of that guy. He gave me his msn is
and we chatted. He gave me his no without seeing me but i refused him saying
sorry you are not my type.
Most of the Arabs guy here are looking for Arbs. Few european like Indian.
But I feel race is not the main issue.
The main issue is how you look and how your stats is.......
rgds
zaid
----- Original Message ----
From: walnut <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, March 14, 2007 8:59:15 PM
Subject: g_b Racism still an issue in the gay community ( ARTICLE)
Comment: Racism still an issue in the gay community
Ive encountered more cold shoulders and "thanks, no thanks" on Old Compton
Street than Dating Direct or Gaydar.
Click Here
8th March 2007 13:37
Comment
Since coming to London last year, student Balaji Ravichandran has been
impressed with the freedom that gay men enjoy here. As an Indian, though,
Balaji has noticed that white gay mens attitudes to a guy like him can at
times leave something to be desired.
Sorry, not my type. This is probably the most frequented reply Ive received
on Gaydar - or "DismayDar," as I choose to call it.
Personally, I have nothing against the cruising website always busy with people
(gay, straight, or otherwise) craving for sex.
It is, in many ways, much better than the hypocrisy of people claiming to want
longer relationships and not bothering to call again or return your messages.
Indeed, having been in Britain only for a year now, Ive rather enjoyed my
frequent flings, thanks to the occasional few who dont mind my skin colour, or
those who do not have "Caucasians only" in the "Looking for" column of their
profiles.
Yet, having used it for almost a year, along with a host of other dating
websites, and having been a part of the "gay scene" (an unfortunate epithet) in
London for an equal amount of time, I cant help thinking that there is subtle,
yet very palpable racism within the community.
When I mention this to many of my gay friends in the UK, they refuse to believe
it. They point out that there are a significant number of interracial
relationships within the gay community. I wholly agree.
Whats more, most of the men Ive been with were white. In fact, I once
admitted that if one wanted to see real and overt racism, one must go to the
Berlin gay scenehow would you feel if people in their hundreds refuse to
acknowledge you even exist?
Thats exactly how it felt - for me, anyway.
But to say that Britain is highly tolerant and that it is not as bad as some
other European nations is not to say that a person with coloured skin is
treated in exactly the same manner as a white would.
Far from it. If you dont believe me, log on to any gay dating website and read
the profiles of a few white people at random.
You are more likely to see the following epithets than any discernible
description of themselves or their prospective partners (sexual or otherwise)
"Sorry, not into Asians;" "Sorry, coloured skin just doesnt work for me;"
"Whites only, no offence."
An oxymoron, if there ever was one.
Could this be something related to the realms of online dating alone? Not
exactly.
Ive encountered more cold shoulders and "thanks, no thanks" on Old Compton
Street than Dating Direct or Gaydar. Admittedly, this may not be race-related
at all.
Many a gay man refuses even to acknowledge anothers presence in busy gay clubs
these days. No smiles, no exchanges of conversations - people seem to move
about in cohorts drinking and dancing, with little else being accomplished.
With more people flocking to online dating, the social side of bars seems fast
diminishing.
Personally and professionally, Ive seldom encountered racism in Britain. The
episode surrounding Shilpa Shetty is nothing more than a media gimmick to which
unsuspecting TV addicts paid too much attention.
However, when it comes to establishing a connection deeper than friendship, and
one that ventures into a long-term commitment, hesitancy does seem to set in.
Strangely, this is not related just to whites, as some within the Asian and
black community (usually fed up with racism) often assume.
A number of black and East Asian men have told me personally that theyd rather
prefer to settle down with people of their own race than any other.
I find this whole scenario quite disturbingnot least because in some ways, it
labels people on the basis of their colour, and personally, Im opposed to
labelling people on the basis of anything but their individual selves.
I wince when someone describes me as "Asian," and some of my British-born
friends do not like the label "British Asians" either.
"Were just British," they say. Some think Im in denial about my racial roots,
as are my "British Asian" friends.
But, my racial roots basically have nothing to do with the person that I am.
I feel insulted when websites like Gaydar try and construct an identity in my
profile, based on my race, and that of my prospective partner.
That ethnicity and race is still a column in all profile applications is a
cause for concern when it should have no influence in deciding any aspect of
peoples personal and professional lives.
With the exception of crude racists, I think most people would agree.
Im all for freedom of speech. If someone is uncomfortable with the fact that
the colour of my skin is brown, let him say so (if I hit on him) and stay away
from me.
What I cannot digest is the fact that even in this day and age, and in a
tolerant society like Britain, race still plays a substantial role in peoples
lives. Gay people, of all, must know the perils of discrimination, subtle or
overt.
That a significant proportion of the gay community subscribe to discrimination,
in itself, is regrettable. Whats worse, many websites dont seem to mind
either.
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