Hello guys,
The following safety tips for dating online safely are from the website Manjam.
I hadn't seen them in the couple of years that I have been a visitor to that
site so I figured many others would not have seen these either !
Cheers
Salil
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Safety Tips -10 Tips for Online Safety
This service offers a fun and secure environment for
meeting and relating with others online. Its also a great place to
build friendships that can lead to long lasting real life
relationships. Whether you decide to correspond with members online
or meet members offline, please use sound judgment and be
responsible for your conduct online and off. In both the virtual and real
worlds, common sense is your best safety tool.
Start Slow Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true.
Begin by first communicating solely via email or instant messages. Be on
the lookout for odd behavior or inconsistencies. Listen to your
correspondents words. The person at the other end may not be who
or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you
uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.
Guard Your Anonymity All correspondence with members
done via the site does not reveal any personal contact information about you.
Be very wary of including your last name, real email address,
personal Web site URL, home address, phone number, place of work,
or any other identifying information in your profile or initial
emails you exchange with other members. Make sure your email
signature file is turned off, or does not include identifying
information, when corresponding with another member via your own
email. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for this information or
attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it. Take all the
time you need to become comfortable with someone before revealing
any person contact information. Ask questions and make sure you are
satisfied with the answers. Trust your instincts, move
cautiously and be selective.
Exercise Caution and Common Sense Careful, well-thought
decisions generally lead to better results. Guard against trusting the
untrustworthy. Any suitor must earn your trust gradually, through
consistently honorable, forthright behaviour. Your job is to take
all the time you need to test for a trustworthy person, and pay
careful attention along the way. Take a relatively conservative
approach to trusting anyone you meet online. If you think someone
is lying, it is likely that they are, so act accordingly. Move on
to someone you can eventually trust. Conduct yourself in a responsible manner.
Dont become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that
intimacy only occurs online.
Request a Photo A photo will give you a good idea of the
person's appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling about
your correspondent. In fact, its best to view several images of this
person in a variety of settings: casual, formal, indoor, outdoors.
If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, it may be
because that person has something to hide. Getting a photo scanned
is cheap, so there is little excuse for not doing it.
Talk Via Telephone A phone call can reveal much about a
persons communication and social skills. It is worth the cost of the call to
protect your security. But do not give out your personal phone number
to a stranger. Try a mobile/cell phone number instead for added
security. Or make arrangements to call from a pay phone. Only when
you feel completely comfortable should you furnish your phone
number.
Meet When YOU Are Ready The beauty of meeting and relating
online is that you can gradually collect information and then make a choice
about pursuing the relationship in the real world. You are never
obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online
intimacy. And even if you do decide to arrange a meeting, you
always have the right to change your mind. Its possible that your
decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based
on a hunch that you cant logically explain. Trust yourself. Go
with your gut instincts, even when they cant be logically explained. Never
meet someone who argues against your instincts, finds logical flaws
with your feelings or pressures you in any way.
Watch for Red Flags Pay attention to any displays of anger,
intense frustration or attempts at pressuring or controlling you. Acting in
a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful
comments or any physically inappropriate behaviour are all red
flags. You should also be concerned if your date exhibits any of
the following conduct without providing an acceptable explanation:
Provides inconsistent information about age, interests,
appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc.
Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing,
online intimacy.
Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
Appears in person to be significantly different from his or her
online persona.
Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or
family members.
Select the Safest Possible Environment When you make the choice
to meet offline, always tell someone where you are going and when you
will return. Leave your dates name and telephone number with that
person. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Provide
your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time when many
people are present and when the date is over, leave on your own. A
familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other
people will be present is great choice. Avoid hikes, bike rides or
drives in remote areas for the first few dates. If you decide to move
to another location, take your own car. When the timing is appropriate, thank
your date for getting together and say goodbye.
Take Extra Caution Outside Your Area If you are flying in from
another area, arrange for your own car and a hotel room. Do not disclose
the name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the
arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive directly
to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the
location you have already agreed to. If the location seems
inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date
at that location, or leave a message on a home machine. Always make sure a
friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact
information. And if possible, carry a mobile/cell phone at all
times.
Leave an Unsure Situation Never do anything you feel unsure
about. If you are in any way afraid of your date, use your best judgment to
diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long
enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene
for help, or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you
are in danger call the police. Its always better to be safe than
sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behaviour. Your
safety is much more important than one persons opinion of you.
While liars, cheaters and impostors certainly ply their craft on the
Web, youll also find them in nightclubs, at cocktail parties, and
occasionally sitting across from you at your local café. Regardless
of where, or how, you meet someone, dating is never a risk-free
activity. A little caution will reduce your risk in these matters
of the heart.
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