Dear I,
one thing which nearly always works (an i hate to say this) is mothers luv we
wretched children a bit too much and inspite of the child turning out to a
fucked up criminal, she does not act aka Nargis in Mother India.
Chances of her severing ties are low .....very low. especially if our guy in
question is the only son and it is not a huge family kinda affair at his end.
I believe there will hardly be any cases anyone can say that their mothers
threw them out of their houses and severed ties when they came out to
them....brothers and fathers maybe (more becoz of the male ego here) ....but
mothers ...... naw...hez safe (sounds so bad and oppresive ... yes...but a
fact).
What normally does happen is that the mom, believing it to be in the best
interest of her son from her point of view, will keep on coercing him to change
and try to get married ("ek baar kaushish to kar ke dekh le" stuff), try a lot
of emotional blackmail (and they r the masters in this anyday....ask daddy)
Not often has this led to the gay guy in question succumbing and spending
his life thinking yeh kya kiyaa maine.
Hence counselling if any is needed by ur friend. Naz (lajpat nagar) runs a
phone helpline as well as a counselling centre. he may drop in.
Better if he interacts with groups active in Delhi where he can get to know
people who have been through these kinds of issues and know the pitfalls.
There is a good group (gays and lezs both) which meets each sunday at Nehru
park (NOT for cruising inspite of the fame the place has) for just a walk/jog.
The mom, in her luv and her belief for what is right and best for her son,
will really gain little for any counselor per se.
The only help a mom can get .... and i say it from experience..... is if she
gets to know that there are other families which have similar kids and have
accepted them and the fact that her child is thinking and working on SETTLING
with a guy whi will be there with him thru thick and thin ............ both
these are beyond what u and a counselor can provide for now so better work on
the earlier part.
Rgds
Manoj
icarius_slade <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Hello friends,
Recently, one of my gay friends (who is in his early thirties) came
out to his mother and, as is the situation in most cases, the mother
has not taken to it kindly....my pal thinks that worse-cum-worse,she
may even sever her ties with him, a thought which shatters him as he
is very close to her. He does not have a father. He doesn't have any
pillars of support in his immediate family or friend circle who can
stand by his side.Even though my friend is putting up a brave front,
I know that he requires assistance. Sitting in Bby, i can't do
anything, but for just being by his side on the phone as much as i
can.
In view of the foregoing, can anyone please give me the names &
contact details of some good counsellors in Delhi (preferably south
delhi), who'd be able to counsel the mother-son duo? More then the
son, the mother requires it, from whatever i could gather, to get to
terms with this revelation....
Thanks in advance to everyone.....
Regards,
"I"
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