courtesy garamjism group Prasad Kumar <[email protected]> Hello Guys,
Of late I have seen e-mails from many gay members asking if it is better to be single or marry woman. I feel there is no one right answer as each persons situation is unique. We are born within family and do not have an option of choosing our parents, siblings and relatives. One needs to take a look at larger pic especially of unintended consequences our actions will have on our family, when you come out. Even if your parents and siblings accept you, at what emotional & psychological cost? I got married in my mid-30's under family pressure. My wife enjoyed sex and was hungry for it. I didn't enjoy sex with her and avoided till it became unavoidable. Sometimes; I pretended not well, sometimes tired, then I started coming home late etc. I tried all tricks guys have already mentioned. Bottom line was my wife was not satisfied in bed.To add salt to her wounds, her female friends told her about their active sex lives. Sex is not only thing but it has an important place in married life. Over time my wife's unhappiness spilled over to other areas of our life as well; her interactions with my family members and relatives. Disagreements and fights were common and finally we split. The emotional and psychological consequences of divorce on my parents and siblings were heavy. I lost both my parents within 2 years of divorce. Though my siblings and their spouses are there but it's not same like before. Divorce is still uncommon in India. Everyone knows it's last resort and there is stigma attached to it. I was lucky to be able to move to the US. Many Indians have misconceptions about western societies, here not all gay's are out. The government has accepted gay sex but that doesn't mean all people are accepting, the discrimination is invisible as people are professional. If you see gay profiles on western gay sites, you see many gays are not out!! Also gay society has its own norms, many whites prefer fair skinned guys, they like Afro-Americans if they have bbc (big black cock) many non Asians have low preference for Asians (chinky eyed) etc. Indian gay society is still evolving, we are at least moving unlike societies in many other countries. We have catching up to do as we are where western societies were 50-70 years back. Lets face it we need to live in present day India. Many Indian's do not accept reality and vast majority of gays are still in denial. Many Indian gays classify themselves as bisexual. Many say I became gay as I was molested in childhood etc. The fact is each of us is programmed differently, and our program is gay!!There is no single solution for all gays. Gays in west receive govt pension and other support in old age, many guys in big cities in India can afford to be single and guys in smaller towns and villages may need to marry. We need to listen to everyone but work out our solution best suited for our situations and lives. Regards, Prasad
