Damn it, whatever you may say. In spite of so many pitfalls and agonies I
have immensely and enormously enjoyed my gay life.
I am seventy four now and had my most pleasant experience at the age of
fourteen. Since then I have not looked back and have no regrets.
In fact you may not believe it, in some of my experiences I have felt supreme
bliss - feeling that I am near God. I actually feel that the ultimate way to
spirituality is through homosexuality only.
May God bless all the gays like me.
Sameer, F.I.
--------------------------------------------
On Sun, 4/8/13, Aditya Bondyopadhyay <[email protected]> wrote:
Subject: g_b How is it being gay in India?
To:
Date: Sunday, 4 August, 2013, 2:02 AM
http://chennaidost.com/how-is-it-being-gay-in-india/
How is it being gay in
India?
“How is it being gay?”, not
everyone on earth can dare to face such a blow and in India
the picture is even worse. Of course, no friend or colleague
would often ask you this question, because few gay in India
can gather guts to come out of the closet and let their
peers know their true sexual orientation. But we do face
questions of this type if we are bold enough to claim our
sexual preferences to our loved ones.
On several occasions, I remember I faced questions of this
kind which are somewhat very ironical and pinching. One
reporter from a Tamil media once asked me “why are you
being gay”, as if I had a tray full of chocolates and I
have picked up the most distasteful one. Most of my straight
friends to whom I came out asked me “how does it feel
like?” Well, I always knew they were curious and they
proved me right most of the times.
Quite often, few straight guys
ask me direct “how do you feel like while having sex with
another guy?” And the fun is they still claimed to belong
the straight lot of people; they keep pestering me over this
topic by saying- “I never had sex with another guy
before”. Come on dude! Why don’t you just try and taste
the pleasure?. On one fine morning, one of my heterosexual
friends said “I don’t think you are gay, you look so
normal”. I exploded with laughter and asked him “so, how
do you think a gay person would look like?”. He shrugged
his shoulders and replied “they are simply shemales!”.
Most of the straight friends,I know, think of gays as guys
with boobs and erectile dysfunctional issues . I grabbed his
hand and let it check my chest structure and then brought
his hand down to my lower abdomen so that he could shake off
his baseless belief. And I asked him “now what do you
think about my flat chest and erected male organ? Gays are
healthy men too and I wouldn’t mind take to my bed and
give you the most credible proof of it”. Since this
incident, I have never seen him in so far in my life. He
just disappeared abruptly.
Over the past one year I have
been appearing on many Tamil television channels and
newspapers since I thought my visibility and onscreen
presence will make an impact. So right after my interview on
a popular Tamil channel, a tea shop owner from my
neighbourhood asked me “I saw you on TV last night, what
were you saying?, I couldn’t understand anything”. Well,
I spoke on the TV for an hour about homosexuality and gay
rights in vernacular Tamil, but I had to face question like
that. On another occasion, I had a chance to appear on Sun
News for a show with Dr.Kamaraj; there they facilitated live
tele-calls from the viewers. Dr.Kamaraj is one of the
popular faces on the small screen who generally appears on
talk shows related to sex and sex related issues. As it was
expected, there were plenty of calls from rural and small
town dwellers where the callers made several homophobic
comments. One such caller was the elder brother of a
homosexual guy. He had asked the doctor if there was any
cure to mould his brother’s sexuality and then the doctor
had replied “yes there is, if your brother is willing to
undergo a change”. My response was simple; the doctor was
“a total bullshit” or something of that kind. After the
live talk show was over I asked Dr.Kamaraj-”so how will
you cure a homosexual becuase it’s a different sexual
orientation, not a disease at all. Is there any brain and
heart transplantation method from heterosexuals to mould
gays into straights?”.
Last year my sister asked me
“how are you managing my life with a guy?”. Yes, it
isn’t easy especially for a guy like me who once had been
into a relationship with a woman where she used to take care
of all household activities. If two men want to live in the
same house for several years, it needs more tenacity than a
wedding ceremony and growing up the kids really take. It
needs a strong bond, a chemistry which ties you forever and
an understanding to exist all the way through. So the answer
to how I am living my life up with a guy for 5 years or so
is just simple; maybe my sister also forgotten the magic key
which is called ‘love’. I. Know it would be difficult
for most of theIndian women to understand it; they are many
times forced into ‘arranged loveless ever-binding
marriage’. They were just been told by their parents “my
daughter, this is your husband and you to be in love with
him forever” …
Everytime I open my lunch box in
my office I have to face a strange look from my colleagues
It seems that they are not just sneaking into my lunchbox
but also trying to intrude into my privacy through my
bedroom window too.
Everytime I face the question “how is it being gay in
india” I remember an incident which occurred right after I
came out for the first time to a friend. He took me to our
favorite Besant nagar beach where we generally gather
together on weekends. Every time a good-looking guy was
passing across us, he asked me “what do you think about
that guy, do you like him?”. I was a little embarrassed by
the sheer frankness of the situation because that was not
something we have ever discussed before. He said “well,
all these years whenever we came here at this beach I used
to talk about girls and comment about them to you and I
could feel the pain of your silence that used to make you
mute all those times. From now on, you don’t have to keep
anything locked up within your heart. Feel free to tell me,
I am your friend”. Well, I think that’s what you and I
call true friendship. He helped me face all my fears of
being a homosexual and I even won over the nervousness to
come out at least to those who know me well and love me
much.
However, let’s get back to the point “how is it being
gay in india?”. I decided to ask other gay men. Two months
ago, for the film festival arrangement and management, I met
a lot of people and this list includes a gay friend who is
very popular as a TV host and I invited him to attend the
festival, even though I knew he won’t come. “Vikki, its
not easy being gay and a celebrity all the same. I have
everything now. Media, popularity, car, house and money but
I am not happy, not really happy; whenever I am on my own at
home I feel bore to death on one hand. On the other, I am
afraid if I ever come to your event even as a supporter I
will lose everything I have earned so far and I have no
choice but to live with it”. Well, I don’t think he
earned anything so far except loneliness.
Recently, a 19 year old boy came
to meet me at my office. He belongs to a a small town in
Tirunelveli district. “Vikranth anna, I have been waiting
to meet you for a long time. Finally I managed to make it
happen in reality It’s not easy being gay from my part of
the world. I never talk about it to anyone yet. I am scared
and I don’t know what I am going to do for the rest of my
life. Everytime when my friends cracks jokes about
homosexuals without knowing I am one among them I feel a
pain deep down. I wanted to find a partner like you did; but
whoever I like in my college seem to be straights. I am
afraid, the fear and shame within me are not allowing me to
focus on my studies” and he went on like that for two
hours and I quietly sat and listened to him. I knew I was
the first person to whom he is opening up his sexual
orientation and probably the last person if he goes back
home.
Lately if anyone ask me “how is
it being gay in india”. I tell him or her “its awesome
dude! You just have to give it a shot and see -that’s
all”.
Written by: Vikranth Prasanna
Edited by: Amit kumar Dey
