I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ason-routing-ospf-07
Reviewer: Ben Campbell
Review Date: 2009-03-12
IETF LC End Date: 2009-03-13
IESG Telechat date: (if known)
Summary:
This draft is very close to ready for publication as an experimental
RFC. I found one minor issue with the IANA considerations that should
be fixed first. I also have a few comments related to editorial issues
and nits.
Major issues:
None
Minor issues:
-- Section 9.1:
This section shows the sub-TLV types as TBD, but at least some of the
references sections specify type numbers.
Nits/editorial comments:
-- general:
It would be helpful to have referenceable numbers for the TLV format
figures.
Using non-mnemonic citations as if they were nouns in a sentence
creates extra work for the reader, who must flip back to the
references to understand the sentence. That is, the form "...defined
in [xxx]". It's better to say "defined in foo [xxx]". It's not as bad
with mnemonic citations (e.g. "defined in [foo]"), but it can still
cause confusion if text is quoted in other documents without the
associated reference section.
-- section 2, 2nd paragraph: "The
limit of the subdivision results is an RA that contains just two
sub-networks interconnected by a single link."
I don't follow the last sentence. Is it possible "results is" was
meant to be "results in"?
-- section 3.1, last paragraph, first sentence: "The local addresses
that can be learned from Opaque TE LSAs."
incomplete sentence. Is "that" spurious?
section 3.2, first paragraph after the figure: "Length is set to Sum[n]
[4 + #32-bit words/4] where n is the
number of local prefixes included in the sub-TLV."
I'm not sure I understand the expression.
-- section 4.1, 3rd paragraph:
Please expand LSC and PSC on first use.
-- section 6, 3rd paragraph:
s/informtation/information
-- idnits reports the following:
== You're using the IETF Trust Provisions Section 6.b License
Notice from
10 Nov 2008 rather than the newer Notice from 12 Feb 2009.
Both versions
are accepted up to the end of March 2009; after that you'll
need to use
the 12 Feb 2009 Notice. (See http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info/)
== The document seems to lack a disclaimer for pre-RFC5378 work,
but was
first submitted before 10 November 2008. Should you add the
disclaimer?
(See the Legal Provisions document at
http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info for more information.).
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