Thanks Francis,
I'll catch these with an update after IETF last call completes
Adrian
----- Original Message -----
From: "Francis Dupont" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Cc: <[email protected]>; <[email protected]>; <[email protected]>;
<[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 1:09 PM
Subject: review of draft-ietf-mpls-p2mp-te-mib-08.txt (full)
I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-mpls-p2mp-te-mib-08.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2009-04-16
IETF LC End Date: 2009-04-17
IESG Telechat date: unknown
Summary: Ready
Major issues: None
Minor issues: None
Nits/editorial comments:
- Abstract: add '(MIB)' as it is done in the introduction
- Abstract: if you need to enforce the do-not-cite-rfc in the Abstract
put reference to RFC 3812 and 4802 into parenthesis?
- 4 page 5: remove spurious line break between:
objects and tables some of which extend tables in MPLS-TE-STD-MIB
[RFC3812]. [RFC4461] and [RFC4875] are clear that they apply to
- 4.2 page 6: additional features or different behavior is required
-> are required
- 4.2.1 page 8 (title): Compatiblity -> Compatibility
- 4.2.1 page 9: sematics -> semantics
- 4.2.2 page 10 (title): Compatiblity -> Compatibility
- 4.7 page 12: diagramatic -> diagrammatic
- 5.2 page 20 (multiple): SeesionAttribute -> SessionAttribute
- 5.2 page 24: thre -> there
- mplsTeP2mpTunnelRowStatus page 26: mplsTunneltable -> mplsTunnelTable
- mplsTeP2mpTunnelDestOperStatus page 47: aply -> apply and
destinaton -> destination
- mplsTeP2mpTunnelDestUp page 51: mplsTeP2mpTunneldestOperStatus ->
mplsTeP2mpTunnelDestOperStatus
- Module Conformance Statement page 52: remove spurious line break
between:
for MPLS-TE-P2MP-STD-MIB. Such devices can be monitored and
also be configured using this MIB module.
- 8 page 56: please extend the VACM and USM abbrevs.
- 8 page 57: IPSec -> IPsec
(BTW if the common way to deploy IPsec is to use it for infrastructure
protection, IPsec can also be used with a finer grain for application
protection, i.e., transport mode vs. tunnel mode)
- 12 page 60: please add the country in Thomas' address.
Regards
[email protected]
PS: experience has shown spelling errors in MIB ids can't be fixed
(because of backward compatibility). IMHO we should have a specific
tool to help this spelling check. I sorted the output of a spell
checker so I got some (fortunately in comments)...
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