There's a list of abbreviations you don't have to spell out
(http://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc-style-guide/abbrev.expansion.txt) that I
didn't know about so don't bother spelling out (the one's with the *s
(thanks Spencer)): SIP, DSL, DHCP, LAN, IP, DNS, ATM.
spt
Sean Turner wrote:
I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer
for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). Please resolve
these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-geopriv-l7-lcp-ps-09.txt
Reviewer: Sean Turner
Review Date: 2009-05-29
IETF LC End Date: 2009-06-09
IESG Telechat date: (not known)
Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits
that should be fixed before publication.
Nits/editorial comments:
Abstract: Spell out 1st occurrence of SIP
1.1: r/This document is structured as follows./This remainder of this
document is structured as follows.
Figure 1: r/|Customer Premises Network |/| Customer Premises Network |
3: Spell out 1st occurrence of DSL
3: r/Wimax/WiMAX
3: r/WiMax/WiMAX
3.1: Spell out 1st occurrence of DHCP, NIC, PPPoe, VoIP, LAN, VPN
3.2: Spell out 1st occurrence of IP
Figure 2: There are two "Host B" boxes. Should one be B' (i.e., Host B
moved?)
4 & 5: r/They do not in any way mean that their is consensus that any of
these approaches are good or bad or that the IETF is in any recommended
in this document that any of these be used./They do not in any way mean
that their is consensus that any of these approaches are good or bad or
that the IETF is in any way recommending that any of these be used.
4: r/or in access network/or in [the/an?] access network
4: Spell out 1st occurrence of FQDN, DNS, SRV, NAPTR, STUN
4: Is there a reference for how to thwart the noted security issues?
5: Spell out 1st occurrence of MAC, ATM, VCI, VPI, VC, DSLAM, VDSL, CDP,
RADIUS,
5: Is there a reference for the "TR-069v2 DSL Forum document"?
5: Is there a reference for how to thwart the noted security issues
(e.g., a pointer to link layer protection mechanisms)?
6: Not sure I understand this ", to devices that can change attachment
points with the impact that their IP address is changed, to devices that
do not change their IP address while roaming". What's the "with the
impact that their" about?
6 VPN: r/LIS used by the client/LIS used by the VPN client
6: Spell out 1st occurrence of NSIS, NATFW, NSLP
6: r/[19] ./[19].
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