Kathleen, thanks for the comments. I have made changes to reflect all your editorial comments. I will be posting a draft-ietf-lisp-multicast-09.txt with yours and Ralph's comments.
Dino On Oct 3, 2011, at 8:23 PM, <kathleen.moria...@emc.com> <kathleen.moria...@emc.com> wrote: > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments > you may receive. > > Document: draft-ietf-lisp-multicast-08 > Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty > Review Date: 3 October 2011 > IETF LC End Date: 28 September 2011 > IESG Telechat date: (if known) > > Summary: The document is ready with nits. I am sorry about the late review! > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > > Nits/editorial comments: > The last paragraph of section 3 introduces the use of the term 'oif-list' > within a definition for 'Unicast Encapsulated PIM Join/Prune Message'. I > think it would be helpful to define this term. > > Section 4, consider breaking the first sentence of #6 into two sentences: > "When a packet is originated by the multicast host in the source > site, it will flow to one or more ITRs which will prepend a LISP > header by copying the group address to the outer destination > address field and insert its own locator address in the outer > source address field." > > Section 5, 2nd paragraph: Recommend changing from: > "In a LISP site, packets > are originated from hosts using their allocated EIDs, those addresses > are used to identify the host as well as where in the site's topology > the host resides but not how and where it is attached to the > Internet." > To: "In a LISP site, packets originate from hosts using their allocated EIDs. > EID addresses > are used to identify the host as well as where in the site's topology > the host resides, but not how and where it is attached to the > Internet." > > Section 7, IGMP section, second sentence, add a comma: > To: "One being that they are link- > local and not used over site boundaries and second, they advertise > group addresses that don't need translation." > > Section 7: PIM-SSN - consider breaking this into a couple of sentences to > make it easier to read. > "In this case, there is a small > modification to the operation of the PIM protocol (but not to any > message format) to support taking a Join/Prune message originated > inside of a LISP site with embedded addresses from the EID > namespace and converting them to addresses from the RLOC namespace > when the Join/Prune message crosses a site boundary." > > Section 7: PIM-Bidir Section - consider breaking the following into a couple > of sentences: > "When using > Bidir-PIM for inter-domain multicast routing, it is recommended to > use staticly configured RPs so core routers think the Bidir group > is associated with an ITR's RLOC as the RP address and site > routers think the Bidir group is associated with the site resident > RP with an EID address." > > Section 9.2: This section is the first place where 'you' is used. The > writing style changes, you may want to rewrite and make it consistent with > the rest of the document. There is a 'you' in 9.3 as well and 'we' is used > in section 11. > > Section 12: Should the 'must' in the first paragraph be in caps? > "Mtrace functionality must be consistent with unicast traceroute > functionality where all hops from multicast receiver to multicast > source are visible." > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
