Hi Kathleen, thanks for the review. > -----Original Message----- > From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] > Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 9:59 AM > To: [email protected]; [email protected]; > [email protected] > Cc: Murray S. Kucherawy; [email protected] > Subject: Gen-Art review of draft-ietf-appsawg-greylisting > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at < > http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before > posting a new version of the draft. > [...] > Nits/editorial comments: > Introduction: First sentence: The word 'differential' should be > 'different' unless you change the sentence structure. It could be that > there is a differential between services.
"different qualities of service" is more like what we want here, because it's the same service really. > Second sentence: Change provider to providing Fixed. > Section 2.1: The double dashes should be parentheses instead -- -- > replaced by () Done. > Section 3, third paragraph, last sentence: add a comma: > From: To the greylisting > implementation such clients are once again unknown, and they will > once again be subjected to the delay. > To: To the greylisting > Implementation, such clients are once again unknown, and they will > once again be subjected to the delay. Done. > Section 3, fourth paragraph, second sentence: remove the comma: > From: It has to be > large enough to keep the necessary history, and fast enough to avoid > excessive inefficiencies in the server's operations. > To: It has to be > large enough to keep the necessary history and fast enough to avoid > excessive inefficiencies in the server's operations. Done. > Section 3, fifth paragraph, second to last sentence: remove "the," and > "such" > From: Experience suggests that > the, the vast majority of mail comes from places on such a developed > exception list, so after a training period, only a small proportion > of mail is actually affected. > To: Experience suggests that > the vast majority of mail comes from places on a developed > exception list, so after a training period, only a small proportion > of mail is actually affected. Done. > Section 4.1: second to last paragraph: remove unnecessary comma: > From: Other side effects include out-of-order delivery of related, > sequenced messages. > To: Other side effects include out-of-order delivery of related > sequenced messages. OK. > Section 4.2: Second paragraph: The commas can be removed as only two > items are joined in the list. When you have three or more, a comma is > used. Done. -MSK _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
