It seems I forgot to send this before Christmas... I apologize. I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-sipclf-format-09.txt (applies to -11.txt too) Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 20121220 IETF LC End Date: 20121217 IESG Telechat date: 20121220 Summary: Almost Ready Major issues: None Minor issues: the encoding of the BEB is inconsistent: one part of the text specifies 0x00 or 0x01 values, another the hexadecimal of these, i.e., the two characters 00 or 01. IMHO they are many good reasons to take the second but it requires to fix the text, for instance to put the BEB field in figure 5 section 4.4 page 16 on 2 octets (vs only one) with the mention "(Hex)". Nits/editorial comments: (with version 11 page numbers) - ToC page 2 and 10 page 28: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments - 2 page 4: inconsistent use of article in: This document uses the term "SIP Server" that is defined to include the following SIP entities: user agent server, registrar, redirect server, a SIP proxy in the role of user agent server, and a B2BUA in the role of a user agent server. (IMHO the best is to removed it in the second "the role of a user") - 4 page 7: it should be reader friendly to decode the separators (i.e., to say 0x2C == ',', etc) - 4.2 page 11: i.e. -> i.e., - 4.2 page 12: Encrytped -> Encrypted - 4.2 page 13: I have a small concern about the two "(if present)" for "To Tag" and "From Tag" because the way it has to be encoded if not present is explained after in 4.3. IMHO a reference with a short indication ("-") should be wellcome. - 4.4 pages 15 and 16: place where BEB is specified. - 4.4 page 18: e.g. -> e.g., - 4.4 (1) page 18: first example where the BEB is clearly encoded in hexadecimal into 2 octets/characters. - Authors' Addresses page 30: (3 times) US -> USA Regards (and as it is a bit late for Christmas, Happy New Year!) francis.dup...@fdupont.fr _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
