Hi Kathleen, Thanks for the review.
Tom On Mar 29, 2013, at 10:34 AM, "Moriarty, Kathleen" <[email protected]> wrote: > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at > > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments > you may receive. > > Document: draft-ietf-nfsv4-rfc3530bis-dot-x-16.txt > Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty > Review Date: March 29, 2013 > IETF LC End Date: 2013-04-16 > IESG Telechat date: (if known) > > Summary: The document is ready to publish after correcting the nits and the > idnits results. I did not perform any validation on the XDR description. > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > > Nits/editorial comments: > In the first sentence of the Abstract, consider adding the word "its": > Change from:The Network File System (NFS) version 4 is a distributed > filesystem > protocol which owes heritage to NFS protocol version 2, RFC 1094, and > version 3, RFC 1813. > To: The Network File System (NFS) version 4 is a distributed filesystem > protocol which owes its heritage to NFS protocol version 2, RFC 1094, and > version 3, RFC 1813. Agreed > > Recommend adding a comma in the second sentence of the abstract: > Change from: Unlike earlier versions, the NFS version 4 > protocol supports traditional file access while integrating support > for file locking and the mount protocol. > To: Unlike earlier versions, the NFS version 4 > protocol supports traditional file access, while integrating support > for file locking and the mount protocol. > Agreed > In the first sentence of paragraph 2 of the Abstract, I recommend changing > from: > RFC3530bis is formally obsoleting RFC 3530. > To: RFC3530bis formally obsoletes RFC 3530. Agreed > > In the second sentence, I recommend changing from (remove but): > But this document, > together with RFC3530bis replaces RFC 3530 as the definition of the > NFS version 4 protocol. > To: This document, > together with RFC3530bis replaces RFC 3530 as the definition of the > NFS version 4 protocol. Agreed > > Introduction, second paragraph, first sentence: > Recommend changing from: The XDR description is provided in this document in > a way that makes > it simple for the reader to extract into ready to compile form. > To: The XDR description is provided in this document in a way that makes > it simple for the reader to extract it into a ready to compile form. Agreed > > Please resolve all of the idnit errors: > > Miscellaneous warnings: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- > > == Line 262 has weird spacing: '...xpected comp...' > > == Line 628 has weird spacing: '...ned int cb_...' > > == Line 689 has weird spacing: '...S4resok reso...' > > == Line 719 has weird spacing: '...T4resok reso...' > > == Line 785 has weird spacing: '...R4resok resok...' > > == (11 more instances…) These are because of the XDR - I would prefer not to change them. > > == The document doesn't use any RFC 2119 keywords, yet seems to have RFC > 2119 boilerplate text. Agreed > > == The document seems to contain a disclaimer for pre-RFC5378 work, but was > first submitted on or after 10 November 2008. The disclaimer is usually > necessary only for documents that revise or obsolete older RFCs, and that > take significant amounts of text from those RFCs. If you can contact all > authors of the source material and they are willing to grant the BCP78 > rights to the IETF Trust, you can and should remove the disclaimer. > Otherwise, the disclaimer is needed and you can ignore this comment. > (See the Legal Provisions document at > http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info for more information.) This is essentially a -bis work of RFC3530, with a publication date of April 2003. The splitting of RFC3530 into two documents is confusing the tool. I will however contact all of the authors and see if they are willing to grant BCP78. > > There are also some errors with references. Could you please elaborate here? [I-D.ietf-nfsv4-rfc3530bis] Haynes, T. and D. Noveck, "NFS Version 4 Protocol", draft-ietf-nfsv4-rfc3530bis-25 (work in progress), Feb 2013. [RFC2119] Bradner, S., "Key words for use in RFCs to Indicate Requirement Levels", March 1997. [RFC4506] Eisler, M., "XDR: External Data Representation Standard", STD 67, RFC 4506, May 2006. _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
