> in general I don't like the style used in this document but it is still > understable.
Well, thanks for your review anyway ;-) > abstract page 1: it is not recommended to explicitly cite RFCs by number > in the abstract (the idea is to make easier to update base specs, Current text: As specified in RFC 6388, Label Distribution Protocol (LDP) can be used to set up Point-to-Multipoint (P2MP) and Multipoint-to- Multipoint (MP2MP) Label Switched Paths. However, RFC 6388 presupposes that the two endpoints of an LDP session are directly connected. The LDP base specification (RFC 5036) allows for the case where the two endpoints of an LDP session are not directly connected; such a session is known as a "Targeted LDP" session. This document provides the specification for using the LDP P2MP/MP2MP extensions over a Targeted LDP session. Would it be better to replace it by: Label Distribution Protocol (LDP) can be used to set up Point-to-Multipoint (P2MP) and Multipoint-to-Multipoint (MP2MP) Label Switched Paths. However, the specification for the Multipoint Extensions to LDP presupposes that the two endpoints of an LDP session are directly connected. The LDP base specification allows for the case where the two endpoints of an LDP session are not directly connected; such a session is known as a "Targeted LDP" session. This document provides the specification for using the LDP Multipoint Extensions over a Targeted LDP session. > an example of dubious wording: The particular method used to select an "upstream LSR" is determined by the Service Provider (SP). The method to use is determined by provisioning; whichever method is used, must be known a priori to all the LSRs involved. How about: The particular method used to select an "upstream LSR" is determined by the Service Provider (SP), and must be made known a priori (i.e., by provisioning) to all the LSRs involved. Fixed the spelling error and added the country to the snail mail addresses. _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
