Thank you for the review, Brian! And thank you Andy for the changes. I think the draft can move forward, do you Brian have further comments?
Jari On Sep 9, 2013, at 4:31 AM, Brian E Carpenter <[email protected]> wrote: > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments > you may receive. > > Document: draft-ietf-pwe3-vccv-impl-survey-results-02.txt (Informational) > Reviewer: Brian Carpenter > Review Date: 2013-09-09 > IETF LC End Date: 2013-09-23 > IESG Telechat date: > > Summary: Almost ready > -------- > > > Minor Issues: > ------------- > > I found the Abstract too complicated and detailed, and the first paragraph of > the Introduction too simple and general. Personally, I'd be inclined to > swap them, with minor adjustments. > >> Note that the intention of this document is to not draw conclusions >> based upon these results, but rather to simply report the results to >> the PWE3 working group for its use when developing other drafts. > > OK, but wouldn't it be reasonable to include a short "summary of results" > section? You leave the reader to swallow a whole lot of detailed answers > rather than providing an overview. > >> The responding companies are listed below >> in Section 2.1. > ... >> No provisions were made for anonymity. > > Were they told in advance that their names would be published? I think this > needs to > be made clear. (Compare RFC6036, where we had a number of respondents that we > validated, > but who requested to remain anonymous in the published results.) > > I think the second paragraph of Security Considerations would fit better > in section 1.1. "PW/VCCV Survey Overview" where you describe the methodology. > > Editorial: > ---------- > > The last sentence of the Abstract is ungrammatical and also conveys no new > information. > It could be deleted. > > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
