Hi, Peter, Thanks so much for your feedback! Please find my comments in-line....
On 10/17/2013 01:14 AM, Peter Yee wrote: > Minor issues: > > Page 10, 1st paragraph: the term "improperly-fragmented" is > used. Are these truly improperly-fragmented packets or simply > ones that are unfriendly to stateless packet filtering? The later. (Yep, th wording could be improved). How about: " This document describes how undesirably-fragmented packets can prevent traditional stateless packet filtering." > It seems > more like the lengthy headers were within spec to date and are now > being prohibited to solve a specific problem. I deem this as a corner case that wasn't expected to happen, but yet was allowed (other might correct me if I'm wrong). > Nits: > > General: use a comma after the terms "e.g." or "i.e" throughout the > document. Usage is inconsistent. Remove or add? > Page 3, 3rd paragraph: insert "the" between "from" and "IPv6". Done. > Page 8, 1st paragraph: replace "a" with "an" before "IPv6 > datagram". Done. > Page 8, 2nd paragraph: the parenthetical example does not appear > to be a good match for the preceding text. It is written as a > mechanism that allows the possible maintenance of the status quo > rather than giving an example of how the preceding SHOULD might > be implemented. E.g., indicates an example of something. mm.. not sure what you mean. Could you please elaborate? > Page 8, paragraph 3, 1st sentence: change "requirements" to > "requirement". Only one requirement was given and that was > that the entire header chain be in the first fragment. Done. > Page 8, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete the parenthetical > statement and the "or not". They are redundant. Done. > Page 8, 4th paragraph, 1st sentence: change "requirements" to > "requirement" for the same reason given above. Done > Page 8, 5th paragraph, 1st sentence: change "requirements" to > "requirement" for the same reason given above. Done > Page 10, 1st paragraph: append a comma after "traditional". Done. Thanks! Best regards, -- Fernando Gont SI6 Networks e-mail: [email protected] PGP Fingerprint: 6666 31C6 D484 63B2 8FB1 E3C4 AE25 0D55 1D4E 7492 _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
