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Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-forces-protoextension-04.txt Reviewer: Brian Carpenter Review Date: 2014-08-07 IETF LC End Date: 2014-08-13 IESG Telechat date: Summary: Almost ready -------- Minor issues: ------------- "3. Protocol Update Proposal This section describes proposals..." Actually, these are not proposals: they are normative updates. ------------- The Abstract says "This documents updates both RFC 5810 and RFC 7121 semantics..." but this is not repeated in the Introduction, and the text makes no further reference to RFC 7121. The text should state what is updated in RFC 7121. ------------- In Appendix A of RFC 7121, I find this statement: "The xml has been validated against the schema defined in [RFC5812]." Is that also true of the new version? If so, it should be stated. If not, there could be a problem... Nits: ----- Abbreviations FE and CE should be expanded when first used. ----- "3.2.1. New Codes EXTENDEDRESULT-TLV Result Value is 32 bits and is a superset of RFC 5810 Result TLV Result Value. The new version code space is 32 bits as opposed to the RFC 5810 code size of 8 bits. The first 8 bit values are common to both old " The last sentence is truncated. And do you mean "the first 256 code values are common..."? ----- There are quite a lot of small grammatical errors (missing articles etc.) which I assume will be caught by the RFC Editor. There are also various examples of convoluted phrasing that could surely be shorter and simpler. For example, I found the following sentence in section 2.1 very hard to understand: "Implementation experience has shown that existing approaches for retrieving or deleting a sizeable number of table rows is at the programmatically level (from an application point of view) unfriendly, tedious, and abusive of both compute and bandwidth resources." Does this mean Implementation experience has shown that existing approaches for retrieving or deleting a sizeable number of table rows are inefficient. or something more subtle? ----- Is the RFC Editor supposed to remove the "XXX: comment to IANA..." sentences? If so, this should be clearly stated. _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
