I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-ippm-lmap-path-05.txt
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 20 August 2014
IETF LC End Date: 22 August 2014
IESG Telechat date: (if known) -
Summary:
Almost ready for the IESG with a few minor nits.
Major issues:
None
Minor issues:
None
Nits/editorial comments:
s1, para 2:
This topic has been previously developed in section 5.1 of [RFC3432],
and as part of the updated framework for composition and aggregation,
section 4 of [RFC5835] (which may also figure in the LMAP work
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
effort).
^^^^^^^
The bracketed phrase sounds as if it is a comment on work in progress:
I think it needs a different version for the long term when this becomes
an RFC - either (if this is to do with the development of this
specification) it did or didn't figure - but it could be something that
is relevant to implementation/usage of the specification - I can't tell
(yet? or indeed after reading the full draft) - in which case it needs
rephrasing appropriately.
s3.1:
A reference path is a serial combination of ... links, ...
A piece of extreme pedantry probably: How would this apply to ECMP or
Multi-Link Trunking connections where there is some parallelism in the link?
s3.3/s3.4 et seq: Would it be better to use Dedicated Component and
Shared Component (rather than ...ed component) to make it clear that the
combination is the defined term? Capitalization of these and other
terms (Managed/Un-managed) etc should be consistent throughout.
s3.4/s4: I think Service Demarcation (Point) could be usefully treated
as another piece of terminology definition and the current text in s4
moved to s3 - and placed before s3.4 so that s3.4 then refers to the
previous definition.
s4: Expand acronyms on first use please: "LTE UE" (in Service
Demarcation) and "GRA GW" [The last two are currently expanded in the
caption of Figure 1 in s5].
s5, items 2C and 2D: s/from point/from the point/
s5, Notes, first bullet: s/Some use the terminology "on-net" and
"off-net"/The terminology "on-net" and "off-net" is sometimes used/
s5, Notes, fourth bullet:
the remote end of the connecting link is an equivalent point
for some methods of measurement (To Be Specified Elsewhere).
Does the 'To Be Specified Elsewhere' mean that something has not yet
been done that was intended to be done? Maybe the RFC 5835 comment???
s5, Notes, last bullet: s/The GW of first transit/The GW of the first
transit/
s7, bullet #1: s/The CPE is/The CPE consists of a/
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