Elwyn,

Thank you for your review. We have revised and uploaded version -08 with the 
following changes:

Applicability to Mobile IPv4?  It appears from the early sections that this 
draft is pretty much concentrated on Mobile IPv6 (see the first para of s3 
which mentions v6 RFCs exclusively and IPv4 seems to be mentioned in only a 
very limited way later) although this is not stated.  To avoid wasting people's 
time, it would be useful to put a few words about the relevance or otherwise of 
this draft to Mobile IPv4 work in the introduction (and maybe the title?) 
before we get to s5.3 where there is more clarity.

The following is appended to the end of first paragraph in the introduction:
The analysis is primarily
   towards IPv6 deployment, but can be seen to also apply to IPv4
   whenever there are IPv4 counterparts equivalent to the IPv6 mobility
   protocols.



s6:  I don't know if there is any extra security risk in adding extra MAs etc 
that might allow a malicious party to offer spurious MA and so to redirect 
traffic inappropriately.  I don't know enough about this problem space to know 
how well this is mitigated already.  Might be worth a mention? (maybe would 
affect s5.8 if so).  

The first sentence in Section 6 in version -07 was
6.  Security Considerations

 

   Distributed mobility management systems encounter same security

   threats as existing centralized IP mobility protocols.  


It is changed in version -08 to:
6.  Security Considerations

   The deployment of DMM using existing IP mobility protocols raises
   similar security threats as those encountered in centralized mobility
   management systems.  


It is no longer referring to DMM systems in general. 

s1: For the uninitiated, a explanation of what a mobility anchor is would be 
helpful.  Quoting some (or even all) of the first para of RFC 7333 would do the 
trick nicely.

The first paragraph is changed to:
1.  Introduction

   Existing network-layer mobility management protocols have primarily
   employed a mobility anchor to ensure connectivity of a mobile node by
   forwarding packets destined to, or sent from, the mobile node after
   the node has moved to a different network.  The mobility anchor has
   been centrally deployed in the sense that the traffic of millions of
   mobile nodes in an operator network is typically managed by the same
   anchor.  This centralized deployment of mobility anchors to manage IP
   sessions poses several problems.  In order to address these problems,
   a distributed mobility management (DMM) architecture has been
   proposed.  This document investigates whether it is feasible to
   deploy current IP mobility protocols in a DMM scenario in a way that
   can fulfill the requirements as defined in [RFC7333].  It discusses
   current deployment practices of existing mobility protocols and
   identifies the limitations (gaps) in these practices from the
   standpoint of satisfying DMM requirements.  The analysis is primarily
   towards IPv6 deployment, but can be seen to also apply to IPv4
   whenever there are IPv4 counterparts equivalent to the IPv6 mobility
   protocols.


s1, para 1: s/pose several problems/poses several problems/

changed as suggested

s2, last para: s/without the reliance on centrally deployed/without reliance on 
centrally deployed/

changed to
without relying on centrally deployed mobility anchors to manage
   IP mobility sessions.



s3, para 1: 
Although these two are centralized approaches,Two? Three items are mentioned in 
the previous sentence, but maybe the Host approach and Proxy extension is 
supposed to be considered as a single scheme.  Maybe something like:
      "Although these approaches are centralized,.."
would avoid the confusion.

changed as suggested

s3, two instances paras after bullet #3:
OLD

   the
   forwarding management (FM)function is both ends of tunneling at the
   HA and the MN. [MAG in second case]
NEW:
   the forwarding management (FM) function involves both ends of the tunnel
   between the HA and the MN.  [MAG in second case]

changed to:the   Forwarding Management (FM) function resides in both ends of 
the   tunnel at the HA and the MN. s3, last para: s/MAP also has FM 
function/MAP also provides the FM function/

corrected s4.2, para after Figure 1: Probably best to s/In the figure/In Figure 
1/ just 
to be totally clear.

corrected s4.2, 2nd para after Figure 1:   IP mobility protocols can be used to 
provide inter-access mobility
   support to usersI don't know if 'inter-access mobility' is acceptable jargon 
but I would suggest 
adding 'mode', 'method' or 'technology' -- thus
IP mobility protocols can be used to provide inter-access mode mobility
   support to userschanged to   IP mobility protocols can be used to provide 
heterogeneous network   mobility support to users, e.g., handover from Wi-Fi to 
cellular   access.  s4.2.1, para 2:Note
   that some of these mechanisms [SDO-3GPP.23.402] have been defined in
   other standards organizations.It is not clear what 'some' refers to here:  
It could refer to the mechanisms 
that are noted as not specified [implied, by the IETF?] or someting earlier in 
the 
paragraph or stuff in Figure 2 (BT/RO modes?).  Please clarify.

Sentenced is deletedFigure 2:  I like the 'zzzz' :-) I guess this is supposed 
to signify a tunnel but it 
would be appropriate to have a key for '(o)' and 'zzzz'!  I take it CN1/CN2 are 
'Correspondent Nodes' (per section 2) but it might be useful to reinforce this 
in 
the key also. 

Figure 2 is redrawns4.2.1, para after bullets: Please expand acronym CoA on 
first use.Correcteds4.2.1, para before Fig 3: s/It allows reducing the 
amount/It allows the reduction of the amount/
CorrectedFigure 4: Oh, dear! Boring old 'xxx' for tunnels. :-(  But I guess it 
should have a key again.Figure 4 is redrawns4.2.2, para after Fig 4: s/Similar 
to/In a similar way to/
Corrected
s4.2.2, 2nd para after Fig 4: s/the LMA runtime assignment [RFC6463]/the 
support 
the LMA runtime assignment described in [RFC6463]/; Correcteds/is mainly aimed 
for/is mainly aimed at/

will change in version 09 to "is mainly used for"s4.3, para 1: Is there a 
suitable overview reference for the EPS architecture?  Might be useful here.

added reference [SDO-3GPP.23.402]s4.3, para before Fig 6: ... or at the macro, 
...I have no idea what this means.deleted these words

Figures 6 and 7: Something has gone wrong with the layout here. (Non-ASCII 
characters?) 

corrected

s4.3, Figure 7 and para before it (and earlier): I think PGW and P-GW, also SGW 
and S-GW, are supposed to be acronyms for the same thing. Please make this 
consistent. (PGW is used elsewhere as well).

changed to PGW

s4.3, para after Fig 7: I think eNB needs expansion [Thank you 3GPP for the 
heavy duty acronym soup!] 

defined acronym for enhanced Node B

Figure 8: Is "H(e)NB" the same as "HeNB"? Be good to be consistent if so; If 
not what is the difference? 

Changed to 
HeNB

s4.3, last para: s/specially/especially/

corrected

s5, general: Indexing the gaps:  For the purposes of clarity, future discussion 
and possible solutions, it would probably be worth assigning serial numbers to 
the identified gaps  in the same way as the requirements are indexed (maybe 
even linking them to the relevant req by calling gaps related to REQ#0 
something like GAP#0-1, GAP#0-2 etc.) There are also a couple of places, 
notably the end of s5.2, where it is not quite clear whether items (like the 
last para of s5.2) are separate gaps or part of the previous one. Numbering the 
gaps might help to concentrate the text on linking together (or separating) 
problems into well-defined sets. 


s5.1, para 1: s/enable/make it possible for/; s/single/a single/

corrected

s5.1, first bullet: s/this may also require to transfer/this may also require 
the transfer of/ 

corrected

s5.1, para after 2nd bullet: s/therefore providing/thereby providing/ 

corrected

s5.1, 2nd para after 2nd bullet:
OLD: where the mobility client natively knows each anchor associated to each 
mobility sessions.
NEW: where the mobility client natively knows the anchor associated with each 
of its mobility sessions.

corrected

s5.1, 3rd para after 2nd bullet: s/to allow dynamically discovering the 
presence of nodes/to allow the dynamic discovery of the presence of nodes/;    

corrected

s/to allow selecting a node/to allow the selection of a node/  

will change in version 09

and...OLD: There are though some mechanisms that could help discovering 
anchors, such as the Dynamic Home Agent Address Discovery (DHAAD)NEW: However, 
there are some mechanisms that could help to discover anchors, such as the 
Dynamic Home Agent Address Discovery (DHAAD)

changed

Additionally: 
Does DHAAD deserve a reference?

added reference [RFC6275]


s5.1, last para: I have suggested some changes to make this clearer (I hope):
OLD: Also note that REQ1 is such that the data plane traffic can avoid 
suboptimal route. Distributed processing of the traffic is then needed only in 
the data plane. The needed capability in distributed processing therefore 
should not contradict with centralized control plane. Other control plane 
solutions such as charging, lawful interception, etc. should not be limited. 
Yet combining the control plane and data plane forwarding management (FM) 
function may limit the choice to distributing both data plane and control plane 
together. In order to enable distributing only the data plane without 
distributing the control plane, a gap is to split the forwarding management 
function into the control plane (FM-CP) and data plane (FM-DP).
NEW: Also note that REQ1 is intended to prevent the data plane traffic taking a 
suboptimal route. Distributed processing of the traffic is then, hopefully, 
needed only in the data plane. Provision of this capability for distributed 
processing should not conflict with the use of a centralized control plane. 
Other control plane solutions such as charging, lawful interception, etc. 
should not be constrained by the DMM solution. On the other hand combining the 
control plane and data plane forwarding management (FM) function may limit the 
choice of solutions to those that distribute both data plane and control plane 
together. In order to enable distribution of only the data plane without 
distributing the control plane,it would be necessary to split the forwarding 
management function into control plane (FM-CP) and data plane (FM-DP) 
components; there is currently a gap here.

changed to
   GAP1-4:  Also note that REQ1 is intended to prevent the data plane
            traffic from taking a suboptimal route.  Distributed
            processing of the traffic may then be needed only in the
            data plane.  Provision of this capability for distributed
            processing should not conflict with the use of a centralized
            control plane.  Other control plane solutions such as
            charging, lawful interception, etc.  should not be
            constrained by the DMM solution.  On the other hand
            combining the control plane and data plane forwarding
            management (FM) function may limit the choice of solutions
            to those that distribute both data plane and control plane
            together.  In order to enable distribution of only the data
            plane without distributing the control plane, it would be
            necessary to split the forwarding management function into
            the control plane (FM-CP) and data plane (FM-DP) components;
            there is currently a gap here.



s5.2, para 1: s/flexibility on determining/flexibility in determining/; 
s/whether or not use/whether or not to use/

changed

s5.2, para 1:
 It only enables the two following functions:I am not sure what 'it' refers to 
here. Is this the functionality that is needed to implement REQ1? Or what? 

Changed to:
The following two functions are also
   needed:



s5.2, 1st bullet: s/which uses/which use/

corrected

s5,2, 1st para after bullets: s/to indicate the IP stack/to indicate to the IP 
stack/ 

corrected

s5,2, 1st para after bullets: 
mobility support is required or not in.Either the 'in' is redundant or there is 
a phrase missing at the end. 

delete
"in"

s5.2, next to last para: s/there exist these individual efforts that/these 
individual efforts and they/ 

changed to
Although these individual efforts exist and they could be
            considered as attempts to fix the gap, there is no solution
            adopted as a work item within any IETF working group.



s5.4, para 2: s/nothing prevent/nothing prevents/; 

corrected

s/functions with in IP mobility/functions within IP mobility/ 

corrected

s5.4, last para: s/going into the direction/going in the direction/

corrected

s5.5: s/the needed mobility management/the necessary mobility management/ 

corrected

s5.6, bullet 6: s/of forwarding path/of the forwarding path/ 

corrected

s5.6, para after bullets: s/the above list of operation/how, or whether, they 
support the above list of operation/ 
correcteds5.7: Everything after the first sentence is either 'motherhood and 
apple pie' or statements
 of things that allegedly work.  No gaps are identified - so everything except 
the first sentence 
could probably be replaced with:
   Any solutions that are intended to fill in gaps identified in this document 
   need to meet this requirement.  At present, it does not appear that using
   existing solutions to support DMM has introduced any new security issues.  

added as suggesteds5.8, para 1: s/to enable multicast solutions to be 
developed/to allow the development of multicast solutions/

correcteds5.8, para 2: s/insta ces/instances/

corrected Section 5.9 is revised to5.9.  Summary   We next list the main gaps 
identified from the analysis performed   above:   GAP1-1:  Existing solutions 
only provide an optimal initial anchor            assignment, a gap being the 
lack of dynamic anchor change/            new anchor assignment.  Neither the 
HA switch nor the LMA            runtime assignment allows changing the anchor 
during an            ongoing session.  MOBIKE allows change of GW but its       
     applicability has been scoped to a very narrow use case.   GAP1-2:  The MN 
needs to be able to perform source address selection.            Proper 
mechanism to inform the MN is lacking to provide the            basis for the 
proper selection.   GAP1-3:  Currently, there is no efficient mechanism 
specified by the            IETF that allows the dynamic discovery of the 
presence of            nodes that can play the role of anchor, discover their   
         capabilities and allow the selection of the most suitable            
one.  However, the following mechanisms could help            discovering 
anchors:            Dynamic Home Agent Address Discovery (DHAAD): the use of 
the            home agent (H) flag in Router Advertisements (which            
indicates that the router sending the Router Advertisement            is also 
functioning as a Mobile IPv6 home agent on the link)            and the MAP 
option in Router Advertisements defined by            HMIPv6.   GAP1-4:  While 
existing network-based DMM practices may allow the            deployment of 
multiple LMAs and dynamically select the best            one, this requires to 
still keep some centralization in the            control plane, to access the 
policy database (as defined in            RFC5213).  Although 
[I-D.ietf-netext-pmip-cp-up-separation]            allows a MAG to perform 
splitting of its control and user            planes, there is a lack of 
solutions/extensions that support            a clear control and data plane 
separation for IETF IP            mobility protocols in a DMM context.   
GAP2-1:  The information of which sessions at the mobile node are            
active and are using the mobility support need to be            transferred to 
or shared with the network.  Such mechanism            has not been defined.   
GAP2-2:  The mobile node needs to simultaneously use multiple IP            
addresses with different properties.  There is a lack of            mechanism 
to expose this information to the mobile node            which can then update 
accordingly its source address            selection mechanism.   GAP2-3:  The 
handling of mobility management has not been to the            granularity of 
an individual session of a user/device            before.  The combination of 
session identification and user/            device identification may be 
lacking.   GAP6-1:  Mobility management protocols have not thoroughly 
documented            how, or whether, they support the following list of       
     operation and management considerations:            *  A DMM solution 
needs to consider configuring a device,               monitoring the current 
operational state of a device,               responding to events that impact 
the device, possibly by               modifying the configuration and storing 
the data in a               format that can be analyzed later.            *  A 
DMM solution has to describe in what environment and               how it can 
be scalably deployed and managed.            *  A DMM solution has to support 
mechanisms to test if the               DMM solution is working properly.       
     *  A DMM solution is expected to expose the operational               
state of DMM to the administrators of the DMM entities.            *  A DMM 
solution, which supports flow mobility, is also               expected to 
support means to correlate the flow routing               policies and the 
observed forwarding actions.            *  A DMM solution is expected to 
support mechanisms to check               the liveness of the forwarding path.  
          *  A DMM solution has to provide fault management and               
monitoring mechanisms to manage situations where update               of the 
mobility session or the data path fails.            *  A DMM solution is 
expected to be able to monitor the               usage of the DMM protocol.     
       *  DMM solutions have to support standardized configuration              
 with NETCONF [RFC6241], using YANG [RFC6020] modules,               which are 
expected to be created for DMM when needed for               such 
configuration.   GAP6-2:  Management information base (MIB) objects are 
currently            defined in [RFC4295] for MIPv6 and in [RFC6475] for 
PMIPv6.            Standardized configuration with NETCONF [RFC6241], using     
       YANG [RFC6020] modules is lacking. s5.9, bullet 1: s/to very narrow use 
case./to a very narrow use case./

correcteds5.9, bullet 2: s/requires to expose/requires the exposure of/

The entire sentence is rewrittenThere is a lack of
            mechanism to expose this information to the mobile node
            which can then update accordingly its source address
            selection mechanism.


 s5.9, bullet 3: s/allows to dynamically discover/allows the dynamic discovery 
of/

corrected s5.9, bullet 5: s/may allow to deploy/may allow the deployment of/

correcteds6: s/encounter same security/encounter the same security/
Entire sentenced has been rewritten  
   The deployment of DMM using existing IP mobility protocols raises
   similar security threats as those encountered in centralized mobility
   management systems.  



H Anthony Chan



From: Elwyn Davies 
Sent: Thursday, September 18, 2014 12:00 PM
To: General area reviewing team ; 
[email protected] 
Subject: Gen-art LC review of draft-ietf-dmm-best-practices-gap-analysis-07


I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on 
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at 

<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. 

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive. 

Document: draft-ietf-dmm-best-practices-gap-analysis-07.txt
Reviewer:  Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2014-09-18
IETF LC End Date: 2014-09-25
IESG Telechat date: (if known) -

Summary:  Almost ready.  A couple of minor issues (one almost editorial and one 
may be due to my lack of knowledge of the current state of Mobile IPv6 
security) and mostly a lot of minor language nits.  I think there might be some 
point in numbering the identified gaps to facilitate future discussion.

Major issues: 
None

Minor issues: 
Applicability to Mobile IPv4?  It appears from the early sections that this 
draft is pretty much concentrated on Mobile IPv6 (see the first para of s3 
which mentions v6 RFCs exclusively and IPv4 seems to be mentioned in only a 
very limited way later) although this is not stated.  To avoid wasting people's 
time, it would be useful to put a few words about the relevance or otherwise of 
this draft to Mobile IPv4 work in the introduction (and maybe the title?) 
before we get to s5.3 where there is more clarity.

s6:  I don't know if there is any extra security risk in adding extra MAs etc 
that might allow a malicious party to offer spurious MA and so to redirect 
traffic inappropriately.  I don't know enough about this problem space to know 
how well this is mitigated already.  Might be worth a mention? (maybe would 
affect s5.8 if so).    

Nits/editorial comments: 
s1: For the uninitiated, a explanation of what a mobility anchor is would be 
helpful.  Quoting some (or even all) of the first para of RFC 7333 would do the 
trick nicely.

s1, para 1: s/pose several problems/poses several problems/

s2, last para: s/without the reliance on centrally deployed/without reliance on 
centrally deployed/

s3, para 1: 
Although these two are centralized approaches,Two? Three items are mentioned in 
the previous sentence, but maybe the Host approach and Proxy extension is 
supposed to be considered as a single scheme.  Maybe something like:
      "Although these approaches are centralized,.."
would avoid the confusion.

s3, two instances paras after bullet #3:
OLD

   the
   forwarding management (FM)function is both ends of tunneling at the
   HA and the MN. [MAG in second case]
NEW:
   the forwarding management (FM) function involves both ends of the tunnel
   between the HA and the MN.  [MAG in second case]

s3, last para: s/MAP also has FM function/MAP also provides the FM function/

s4.2, para after Figure 1: Probably best to s/In the figure/In Figure 1/ just 
to be totally clear.

s4.2, 2nd para after Figure 1:   IP mobility protocols can be used to provide 
inter-access mobility
   support to usersI don't know if 'inter-access mobility' is acceptable jargon 
but I would suggest 
adding 'mode', 'method' or 'technology' -- thus
IP mobility protocols can be used to provide inter-access mode mobility
   support to users
s4.2.1, para 2:Note
   that some of these mechanisms [SDO-3GPP.23.402] have been defined in
   other standards organizations.It is not clear what 'some' refers to here:  
It could refer to the mechanisms 
that are noted as not specified [implied, by the IETF?] or someting earlier in 
the 
paragraph or stuff in Figure 2 (BT/RO modes?).  Please clarify.

Figure 2:  I like the 'zzzz' :-) I guess this is supposed to signify a tunnel 
but it 
would be appropriate to have a key for '(o)' and 'zzzz'!  I take it CN1/CN2 are 
'Correspondent Nodes' (per section 2) but it might be useful to reinforce this 
in 
the key also. 

s4.2.1, para after bullets: Please expand acronym CoA on first use.

s4.2.1, para before Fig 3: s/It allows reducing the amount/It allows the 
reduction of the amount/

Figure 4: Oh, dear! Boring old 'xxx' for tunnels. :-(  But I guess it should 
have a key again.

s4.2.2, para after Fig 4: s/Similar to/In a similar way to/

s4.2.2, 2nd para after Fig 4: s/the LMA runtime assignment [RFC6463]/the 
support 
the LMA runtime assignment described in [RFC6463]/; s/is mainly aimed for/is 
mainly aimed at/

s4.3, para 1: Is there a suitable overview reference for the EPS architecture?  
Might be useful here.

s4.3, para before Fig 6: ... or at the macro, ...I have no idea what this means.



Figures 6 and 7:  Something has gone wrong with the layout here.  (Non-ASCII 
characters?)

s4.3, Figure 7 and para before it (and earlier): I think PGW and P-GW, also SGW 
and S-GW, are 
supposed to be acronyms for the same thing. Please make this consistent. (PGW 
is used elsewhere 
as well).

s4.3, para after Fig 7: I think eNB needs expansion [Thank you 3GPP for the 
heavy duty acronym soup!]

Figure 8: Is "H(e)NB" the same as "HeNB"? Be good to be consistent if so; If 
not what is the difference?

s4.3, last para: s/specially/especially/

s5, general: Indexing the gaps:  For the purposes of clarity, future discussion 
and possible solutions, 
it would probably be worth assigning serial numbers to the identified gaps  in 
the same way as the 
requirements are indexed (maybe even linking them to the relevant req by 
calling gaps related to 
REQ#0 something like GAP#0-1, GAP#0-2 etc.)  There are also a couple of places, 
notably the end of s5.2, 
where it is not quite clear whether items (like the last para of s5.2) are 
separate gaps or part of the 
previous one.  Numbering the gaps might help to concentrate the text on linking 
together (or separating) 
problems into well-defined sets. 

s5.1, para 1: s/enable/make it possible for/; s/single/a single/

s5.1, first bullet: s/this may also require to transfer/this may also require 
the transfer of/

s5.1, para after 2nd bullet: s/therefore providing/thereby providing/

s5.1, 2nd para after 2nd bullet:
OLD:
   where the mobility
   client natively knows each anchor associated to each mobility
   sessions.
NEW:
   where the mobility
   client natively knows the anchor associated with each of its mobility
   sessions.

s5.1, 3rd para after 2nd bullet: s/to allow dynamically discovering the 
presence of nodes/to allow
   the dynamic discovery of the presence of nodes/; 
   s/to allow selecting a node/to allow the selection of a node/
 and...
OLD:
   There are though some mechanisms
   that could help discovering anchors, such as the Dynamic Home Agent
   Address Discovery (DHAAD)
NEW:
   However, there are some mechanisms
   that could help to discover anchors, such as the Dynamic Home Agent
   Address Discovery (DHAAD)
Additionally: Does DHAAD deserve a reference?

s5.1, last para:  I have suggested some changes to make this clearer (I hope):
OLD:
   Also note that REQ1 is such that the data plane traffic can avoid
   suboptimal route.  Distributed processing of the traffic is then
   needed only in the data plane.  The needed capability in distributed
   processing therefore should not contradict with centralized control
   plane.  Other control plane solutions such as charging, lawful
   interception, etc. should not be limited.  Yet combining the control
   plane and data plane forwarding management (FM) function may limit
   the choice to distributing both data plane and control plane
   together.  In order to enable distributing only the data plane
   without distributing the control plane, a gap is to split the
   forwarding management function into the control plane (FM-CP) and
   data plane (FM-DP).
NEW:
   Also note that REQ1 is intended to prevent the data plane traffic taking a 
   suboptimal route.  Distributed processing of the traffic is then, hopefully,
   needed only in the data plane.  Provision of this capability for distributed
   processing should not conflict with the use of a centralized control
   plane.  Other control plane solutions such as charging, lawful
   interception, etc. should not be constrained by the DMM solution.  On the 
other hand combining the control
   plane and data plane forwarding management (FM) function may limit
   the choice of solutions to those that distribute both data plane and control 
plane
   together.  In order to enable distribution of only the data plane
   without distributing the control plane,it would be necessary to split the
   forwarding management function into control plane (FM-CP) and
   data plane (FM-DP) components; there is currently a gap here.

s5.2, para 1: s/flexibility on determining/flexibility in determining/;
s/whether or not use/whether or not to use/

s5.2, para 1: It only enables the two following functions:I am not sure what 
'it' refers to here.  Is this the functionality that is needed to implement 
REQ1? Or what?

s5.2, 1st bullet: s/which uses/which use/

s5,2, 1st para after bullets: s/to indicate the IP stack/to indicate to the IP 
stack/

s5,2, 1st para after bullets: 
mobility support is required or not in.Either the 'in' is redundant or there is 
a phrase missing at the end.

s5.2, next to last para:
s/there exist these individual efforts that/these individual efforts and they/ 

s5.4, para 2: s/nothing prevent/nothing prevents/; s/functions with in IP 
mobility/functions within IP mobility/

s5.4, last para: s/going into the direction/going in the direction/

s5.5: s/the needed mobility management/the necessary mobility management/

s5.6, bullet 6: s/of forwarding path/of the forwarding path/

s5.6, para after bullets: s/the above list of operation/how, or whether, they 
support the above list of operation/

s5.7: Everything after the first sentence is either 'motherhood and apple pie' 
or statements
 of things that allegedly work.  No gaps are identified - so everything except 
the first sentence 
could probably be replaced with:
   Any solutions that are intended to fill in gaps identified in this document 
   need to meet this requirement.  At present, it does not appear that using
   existing solutions to support DMM has introduced any new security issues.  

s5.8, para 1: s/to enable multicast solutions to be developed/to allow the 
development of multicast solutions/

s5.8, para 2: s/insta ces/instances/

s5.9, bullet 1: s/to very narrow use case./to a very narrow use case./

s5.9, bullet 2: s/requires to expose/requires the exposure of/

s5.9, bullet 3: s/allows to dynamically discover/allows the dynamic discovery 
of/

s5.9, bullet 5: s/may allow to deploy/may allow the deployment of/

s6: s/encounter same security/encounter the same security/
 




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